The Slobacy Chapter 3.6: Insanity University

1It’s time for the second half of the college saga in the Slobacy, a legacy of slobs!  And as you can see, their genes are already leaving a mark on their children.

“That’s what three years of macaroni and cheese will do to you!” ~Barnabas

In this chapter, the kids start graduating one by one, but not without some obstacles, aspirational re-rolling, and the announcement of who will be the heiress of the fourth generation!2First up for heirship is Charlotte, who is a romanti-CHARLOTTE!  Someone call an ambulance!

“Don’t be silly.  I’m not hurt!  This is how we have been entering and leaving this room for a couple of years now!” ~Charlotte

Ah, yes.  That doorway is broken.  Or maybe my sims are.  I just wonder why I’m now noticing that this late in the school year.3The second up for heirship is Gina, the girl in the bathing suit, dancing with her twin brother, Gino.

This is the first time I’ve seen the bonfire dance, considering the bonfire is on the other side of the lot.  Then again, they have been near the bar all night, so maybe it’s just safer to dance over here after all the drinks they have been consuming.4Dawson, the local SS member, has not only stalked Silhouette in college, but also has a new obsession with Charlotte, which has turned into a crush.  He then followed her on a date with Roland, and now he is mad as crap with her.

“Oh, Dawson!  I’m so sorry I dated Roland in front of you, but since you got a new appearance, I have gained another lighting bold for you (I’m not kidding, she did.  I think one of her turn ons might be facial hair anyway).  So, will you please forgive me and help me with my decaying gold aspiration bar?” ~Charlotte5“It’s ok, I forgive you!  I can’t stay mad at you forever.  You’re just too hot!” ~Dawson

“Oh, that’s great!  Catch me, then!” ~Charlotte6“OW!  Why didn’t you catch me?!” ~Charlotte

“Because I lied.  I don’t forgive you!  It’s going to take days for me to get over my emotional scarring!” ~Dawson

So then don’t tell her you forgive her then, liar!
7It was about that time that the poll for the next heiress wrapped up.  So, on the eve of their junior year, I would like to announce that the audience has decided.  And the new heiress shall be…

*Drum roll*8GINA!

“YES!  I KNEW IT!  I am the PERFECT sim for heir!  I have won over the world!” ~Gina

“NOOOOOOOO!!” ~Charlotte9“So, you are really serious?!  I’m heiress?!  This isn’t one of your dumb, cruel jokes, is it?!” ~Gina

Nope.  I’m serious.  You are heiress, as much as it pains me to say.  More people liked you for some reason.

Sob.10“Oh, I’m really REALLY heiress!  I… sniff… I feel like a PRINCESS!” ~Gina

~There she is!  Miss SimCity…~11~There she is, the ideal!~
~The dream of a million sim girls,
But a million sim girls would be too much laaaag…~

“NO!  WAAAH!  Not Gina!  Why Gina?!  WHY?!” ~Sabrina
12“I would like to thank everyone that voted for me to win this honor as heiress, and I would like to thank my sister for being such a good sport and playing along like she stood a chance against talent like me.” ~Gina13“Bite me, Gina.” ~Charlotte

“That’s great, sister!  After your acceptance speech, you want me to come up on stage and do your talent part of the show?  I got my dancing tights on!” ~Gino

“Uh, thanks everyone that’s all we have time for, that concludes our show now, bye!” ~Gina14Congrats, Gina.  You finally got what you wanted, so I guess after all this is said and done, you get to go home, marry a slob, and start popping out children that you probably do not want.

“Thanks and-wait.  THAT’S what an heiress does?!  I thought I was going to be, like, heiress to a throne or something.” ~Gina

Yep.  You will be queen of your own little trash heap.  Have fun with that!15Meanwhile, Barnabas has lost his teeth again, because he keeps having this off-again-on-again problem with his vampire fangs.

“There they are, right above my head!  Can you grab them and put them back in my mouth right here?  It will only take a second of your time!” ~Barnabas

No.  Get Nerissa, or Sunny, to do it for you.16Besides Barnabas, there is another vampire, Sunny, who for some magic reason isn’t affected by the sunlight during the day.  I guess that’s why her name is Sunny.

“Hey, look at me!  I can survive in the sunlight too!” ~Barnabas

No, you can’t.  Get in your coffin NOW.17There are a couple of theories popping up about why Bayonette hates Gina, mostly revolving around Bayonette being a neat freak and Gina being a slob.

I just like to think that Bayonette was on Team Charlotte with me.

“I voted for Charlotte, and your little spoiled butt got the vote anyway!  Prepare for your demise!” ~Bayonette
18Well, this was inevitable.19“HAh!  That’s what you get for winning the heirship!” ~Bayonette

“Ah, NO, help! My head is stuck in the stall wall!  Someone, anyone, call the fire department!” ~Gina20“Oh, that Gina is so fine!  I’m so glad she got the heirship!  She can pancake my omelettes all day!” ~Kari

I’m worried because she’s in the same house as my girls all day.  And it’s not just an attraction to Gina she has…21“Oh, Charlotte!  She’s so beautiful!  Macaroni my cheese and call me spaghetti!” ~Kari

And she’s not the only old lady that’s obsessed with her work and the girls.22“You!  You big fat tub of lard!  Drop and give me twenty!” ~Anna

Um, Anna, that’s a dresser.  Nobody has been in Charlotte’s room for about two hours now.

“If no one is in this room, then who’s standing over there in the big red dress?!  Now give me some jumping jacks, you lazy bag of bones!” ~Anna

Get some glasses.23Gina’s llama headed boyfriend came over one day, and I thought that it was time to award Gina for winning the heirship with her first woohoo.

“ALRIGHT!  Those guys over in the locker room told me I wouldn’t get lucky with this thing on!  Well, look at me now!” ~Simon

“Oh, stop talking and get over here and let’s vo our gerbits!” ~Gina

Ew.24So Gina had her first time with the llama mascot in random dormie Joy’s room.25This is the face of the man behind the llama’s head.  He kinda reminds me of Korey Collins.

“Oh great.  I just woohooed my great grandfather’s reincarnation.” ~Gina26“You see those blue things over there?” ~Bayonette

“Yeah, those are his fangs, and I’ve been trying to figure out why they are doing that.” ~Sabrina

“Do you think they will ever fix themselves permanently?” ~Bayonette

“Pfft, that’s why I’m here!  I’m going to stick them back in his mouth while he’s asleep!  Don’t worry about me, I’m a pro!” ~Sabrina
27“BLEEEH!” ~Barnabas

“AHH!  NO!  A vampire!” ~Sabrina

“Humph, a pro alright.” ~Bayonette28“Oh, my!  They are both in the room with me!  They are both so hot!  I can’t decide which one is better!  Ok, I pick Gina!” ~Kari

“Tch, you and many others.” ~Charlotte29And so, Junior year finally rolled around, and it was time to reroll everyone.  Barnabas rerolled Wealth, again, so I left him alone.  Charlotte also rolled Wealth, so she’s no longer after 20 lovers, but wants to be a city planner.  So go ahead, and go pick up all your date flowers off the porch.  We didn’t make your first LTW.

“So, what am I supposed to do with the six lovers I DO have?!” ~Charlotte
30And as for Gina… Sob!

This die is loaded!  Where’s the other die to this pair?!

“I can’t let my sister outdo me!  I may be heiress, but that doesn’t mean I can’t let her get better at an aspiration I would be better in!” ~Gina

Gina now wants to be the hand of Poseidon.
31I left Gino and Marionette alone, because I don’t care much about them, so Nerissa is the only one that I rolled something on other than leave her with her child stuck-state.  She’s now a Knowledge sim, and wants to be, uh, who remembers.  Changing her aspiration caused her to lose her perma-platinum mood, but now she also doesn’t have the metabolism of a three year old.

“Oh, pancakes!  Gina is still so hot!  I’m so happy to serve her!” ~Kari

At first I thought that Karl was just attracted to the girls because of their old romance aspiration, but she still fawns over them from time to time.  She’s just a wierd old woman.32At one point, I was watching Gina play darts or something and heard the I’m-in-love jingle and frantically searched the house for Barnabas and Sunny.

Turns out that Bayonette was in the kitchen flirting with the one eyed viking, Nery.  I had no idea they had a thing going on, or even had chemistry with each other in the first place.  Goes to show you how much I pay attention to spares.33So, for the first time in about half a century, at least, Bayonette got her first kiss.

Or her lips sucked off, I don’t know what this is.34And so they did it for the first time in the privacy of Joy’s room.

I’m sure that poor girl hates this place.35Bayonette is not the only one to find love when I’m not looking.

Charlotte and Dawson finally patched things up again, because Dawson can’t keep hating the girl he’s stalking forever, now can he?36“You! I don’t care if you are my brother, I’m so mad at you for something!” ~Marionette

“I just peed in the shower only a couple of times, I’m sorry about that!” ~Barnabas

“You did WHAT?!” ~Marionette37“Oh, boohoo!  I’m so sorry!  I’m such a bad brother!” ~Barnabas

“Good grief!  Is this wuss really crying?!  What a baby.” ~Marionette

The one time Marionette comes out of the woodwork and it’s just so she can be horrible to her dormmates.38“You!  Sleeping in your brother’s bed when your own is down the hall!  You have a lot of nerve, you brat!” ~Marionette

“What is the matter with you, Aunt Marionette?!  We were fine with each other just days ago!” ~Gina39But Gina isn’t going to be cornered and attacked by a bunch of dorm enemies, because one of them graduates today.

Bayonette, who has been here for college for a couple of generations now, is finally having her own party, and getting the hell out of here.40The only two people that came to her graduation party was her niece Roulette, and me, who just got off work or something.

Or maybe I’m the hired clown of the party.  I don’t know.
41“Way to go out with a big bang, best friend.” ~Nerissa

And so, Bayonette finally moves out and will be missed.  Bye, Bayonette.

No one else really cared.
42She grew up in the same thing, just a different color.

“What can I say, I love country music!” ~Bayonette

It was around this point that my brother accidentally ripped the power cord out of the wall, and I had to throw Bayonette the party all over again, where she grew up in the same skirt, with another color.

“Like I said. Now where’s the ranch I was promised?!” ~Bayonette43Skylar, the kid Bayonette was enemies with in her Freshman year, moved back in and took over her old room, with Sunny still sleeping in it.

Have fun with a pink room, Skylar!  You jerk.
44After Bayonette left, Anna the coach came back with a vengeance, and Charlotte was her most common victim.

“Do some push u-” ~Anna

“WAAAAH!  I don’t WANT to!” ~Charlotte45“What?!  I have never had a kid tell me NO before!  Why don’t you want to do some push ups, young lady?!” ~Anna46“Because I like being lazy and fat.” ~Charlotte

“That’s not a good lifestyle!  Now I want you to give me some sit ups right now or-” ~Anna

“HEY!  If Miss Charlotte wants to keep her sexy, curvy booty, let her!  If you don’t, I’ll spaghetti your pancake!” ~Kari

“OK, ok.” ~Anna47“Who is sitting here?!” ~Anna

“Uh, no one.” ~Marionette

“MAKE THEM DO SOME PUSH UPS!” ~Anna48“Ok.  If that chair doesn’t want to do a workout routine, then YOU do one!” ~Anna

“But, I have a doctor’s excuse not to!” ~Marionette

“No, you don’t!  You are perfectly healthy and capable to do sit ups!  Now let’s go!” ~Anna49“But WAAAH!  I don’t WANT to!” ~Marionette

“Don’t copy that fat Charlotte!  Ugh!  Why do these kids keep giving me a hard time?!” ~Anna50“Ack!  The sun!  The sun, it BURNS!” ~Barnabas

“Mmm, I could really go for something fancy right now, like lobster thermidor or something.” ~Sunny

Another fine example of the magical powers of staying alive that Sunny has.
51“Hey you two!  I want twenty jumping jacks by the time I blow this whistle!” ~Anna

“I can’t hear you.  My face is in a llama, la la la la!” ~Gina52“I got some action again today!  WOO!  Vo Gerbits!” ~Simon

“Why can’t I have some action?!  I’m unloved!  And so miserable!” ~Marionette

She failed to go on her final and had to be on academic suspension because halfway to class.  So, as angry as I was with her, I thought it was time to set her up with a man.53So she called Steffi and…

NOOOO.  Wrong sim, Steffi.

The new slob man is finally here.  After the hours I spent looking for him, he appears on their front doorstep.  Go figure.54“I can’t date this man, Steffi!” ~Marionette

“Er, why not?  You two have great chemistry together.  You’d be perfect!” ~Steffi

“Because this is going to be Gina’s man!  And as much as I hate Gina, I can’t take him!” ~Marionette

“I’m who’s man?!” ~Slob55I took the opportunity to try to set Gina up with the new slob, and meanwhile, set Marionette up on another date, with a man that has the same last name as the new slob.

“What do you fear the most, Charlie?” ~Marionette

“You know that Tara girl that recently died?  I’d be terrified if she came back as a zombie!” ~Charlie

…You would, wouldn’t you.56“I know what you fear, Marionette!  Bleh!  This is what you get for being mean and yelling at me earlier this week! BLEH!” ~Barnabas

“No, Barnabas!  Not while I’m on a date!” ~Marionette57“You’ve made me go wet myself!  I want my bottle!  Mommy!” ~Marionette

Not something you want to go do to yourself on your date, Marionette.  But Barnabas enjoys it.58Anyway, after that embarrassment, she went out with Charlie again.  They were perfect together, so they went to Googycoo’s, got engaged, and now Marionette’s all happy again.

Now shut up with your aspiration, Marionette, and let me get back to the kids that matter.59“Right now!  Drop and give me forty!  I don’t care if you are butt naked!  Obesity won’t wait while you put your clothes on!” ~Anna

Oh, come on, Anna!  Give Charlotte a break and stop following her everywhere!60“I hate you!  I had to give up on the one man that could have been my perfect soul mate and stick with his brother!  I don’t care how happy he makes me, I will never forgive you!” ~Marionette

Enjoy heirship, Gina.61“My word!  You have gotten as big as a house!  I want you to do jumping jacks, right NOW!” ~Anna

I see you forgot your glasses again, Anna.62Meanwhile, while I wasn’t looking or caring, Nerissa got into the SS.

I’m proud of her, yay.  Oh well.64“I just don’t understand it Gina.  I am nice to everyone and I’m the ideal sim.  Why does Marionette hate me so much?” ~Gina

“I think she’s just jealous, sister.  You get everything as heiress, and she’s going to be spare for the rest of her life.  I’d pity her.” ~Gino
65While watching Gina do a workout routine, I hear the boinging noise of a cheater getting caught, and desperately searched for Sunny and Barnabas again.

It was Charlotte, catching Dawson with the cow, and ruining their chances of true love forever.

“We just got over me being a cheater, and then you turn around and accept a flirt with the cow!  I hate you, Dawson!  Don’t you ever talk to me again!” ~Charlotte

Meanwhile the cow is as oblivious to her crime as always.  The few times she comes over, and she really messes everything up.66So annoying, perky cheerleader Katerina to the rescue!

“Take THIS, you homewrecker!” ~Katerina

“Yeaaahaha, tip that cow over, Katerina!” ~Charlotte

Hey, Katerina IS good for something.
67Finally, senior year comes to a close, and the first to graduate and have his party is Barnabas, because if I hear “AHH, the SUN, but first I must complement Sunny on her boobs” one more time, I’m just going to let him roast.68“I would like to toast Sabrina, because for four long years, she has kept me alive and in line and managed to keep my grades up, even though I was working long and hard on my nieces’ schoolwork in their places!  Thanks, Sabrina!” ~Barnabas

Yeah, you better thank me.  I’ve never had such a hard time keeping a sim from dying like I had with Barnabas69Afterwards?

“Ohmahgaw that guy STINKS!” ~Everyone

“Can you go take a bath, spare?  We are busy toasting myself, as you can see!” ~Sabrina70“Toast to us, Nerissa!  Because after forever, we are finally out of this crap hole and we are going to leave this stupid smelly legacy forever!” ~Barnabas

“Hear, hear!” ~Nerissa71“Mmm, not quite, Barnabas.  I want you to go back with Gina to the legacy house.” ~Sabrina

“WHAT?!  WHY?!” ~Barnabas

“Well, besides all the times you tried to kill yourself, you are actually my favorite sim to play with, also, her future kids might need a night time nanny.” ~Sabrina72“Sniff… it’s not fair.  I just wanted to move out with Sunny and finally start my life with her.” ~Barnabas

“Nerissa.  You are engaged to Nerissa.” ~Sabrina

“Whoever!” ~Barnabas

“Don’t worry!  One day, you will move out, I promise.  Just not right now.  So, if you will, stop trying to look down my shirt.” ~Sabrina73And so his party was good and he grew up thinking that 80’s Miami suit looks good on vampires.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

We will fix that back at the house.74The next morning, right before Charlotte’s graduation party, Dawson took her in his arms and kissed her again, so now they are all happy and together again.  She then rolled the want to get engaged to Dawson.  Aww, but I forgot about it and went on with the party.  Oh well.  I’ll think about it.75Goodbye, my prodigy child!  Oh, sniff.  You were the only child that was good at anything, and I wish you will on your journey into adulthood.  Now stop juggling tumblers and get ready to move out.

Just one more thing before you go:76“Just one set of pull ups!  Right now, before you leave!” ~Anna

“NOOO!  WAAAH!  This is my graduation!  Leave me alone!” ~Charlotte77Nerissa graduated soon after, but I didn’t care about her graduation party and she moved out with Charlotte, awaiting the day for her love to finally move out of the legacy house and bla bla bla GET OUT OF HIS COFFIN.78Then finally, we have Gina

“PARTY!  WOO!  Heiress time HERE I COME!” ~Gina

Behold, my heiress.  Whether I want her to be or not.79So Gina said goodbye to her college boyfriend, who also thought he was graduating, ha ha, and moved out and back to the Collins’ household.80“Hey, the outfit that my mother grew up in during her birthday party!  Woo!” ~Gina

I’ll fix that at the house.81Gino didn’t do his final like Marionette, and is still stuck behind at the dorm, in the doorway.

“Yeah, you should really get this fixed.” ~Gino

So, with that, we end this chapter and finally go back to the legacy household to start the fifth generation.  Woo!  Until next time!

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