Hello, and welcome to the Slobacy, a sims 2 legacy dealing with the Nightlife downtownies, the slobs.
For new readers, the chapters where originally posted on the exchange over at the sims 2 website.
So yes. This is another sims legacy blog. I apologize. Ok, not really.
But first, I would like to explain why my legacy chapters are no longer going to be posted on the exchange. It all started when I came back to my house for the first time since I went to college. I came for the weekend, pretty much so my family would stop calling me and telling me that I don’t visit them any more because I don’t love them and other divorced parent propaganda bla bla bla. I thought that a new slobacy chapter was in order and tried to turn on the internet.
“Hey, what the hell is this? Why isn’t the sims 2 website coming up on my computer? Wait a minute, why isn’t the internet coming up?” ~Sabrina
“What the crap? There’s no network in this computer! It’s not the computer messing up either. What the hell is wrong with this?” ~Sabrina
“Mom, the internet is down.” ~Sabrina
“I HAD to get rid of the internet so that your brother can have a new phone because he destroyed his last expensive touch phone by punching it. If I don’t buy him a new phone, he’ll fall back into his old ways and not love me no more!” ~Mom
“Mom, I’m leaving the house and going to my friend’s house for a week. If my teachers call, they are lieing, and when I get back, I better have a plasma tv in MY room.” ~Dock
“Ok sweetie, whatever you want! Can you give your momma a hug before you leave?” ~Mom
“Nnnnno.” ~Dock
“Mom, don’t you think you are spoiling him too much and letting him do whatever he wants?” ~Sabrina
“Shut UP Sabrina! You don’t know what you are talking about! I don’t want to hear how you love your father more than me and you keep turning on me like this!” ~Mom
“I wasn’t talking about dadd-” ~Sabrina
“LALALALALA CALL YOUR BROTHER AND TELL HIM TO CALL ME.” ~Mom
A childish squabble took place yadda yadda yadda and here we are today. My mom’s got a concrete brick for brains, my brother is a child, and I’m exchangeless.
And I thought about moving my game to my laptop, but that’s like 1085729838 Gb of sim junk to move, and have you seen my graphics on my old chunk of a laptop? BESIDES, I lost my pets expansion and Double Deluxe discs a long time ago. Besides, in retrospect, this is much nicer.
So now you know about the predicament, and chances are you still don’t care. You are probably thinking “when is she going to talk about the Collins already?!” Well hold on to your pants, because we have one more stop before we head over to the Legacy household:
Back at the S.L.O.B. headquarters, Linda, the first female slob swore vengence on me after I killed most of the girl slobs off to make room for more guys, and is planning my destruction as we speak.
“HAHAHAHA! The cat stole a bunch of pet supplies.” ~Linda
“Linda, it’s been two months since you created this organization and swore revenge. Yet, you haven’t done anything since then! You haven’t organized an army of henchmen like you said you would, you didn’t research how you were going to lead Sabrina to her demise, hell, you haven’t even checked your email since then!” ~Brittany
“Yeah, I know. I’m just too damn lazy. I will do all that stuff right after this movie.” ~Linda
“Oh really? A movie? What’s playing?” ~Brittany
“Wait a minute! No! Don’t trick me like that again Linda! We really need to stop procrastinating on this evil organization stuff! Get off your butt and help me help you if you want to avenge your fallen friends!” ~Brittany
“Aw, do I REALLY have to right now?!” ~Linda
So while that’s getting straightened out, we move on to our Slobacy in progress.
“Waaaah! The photos are all small!!” ~Andrew
Yeah, sorry about that. This generation was already done and I forgot to make the photos bigger before taking them. Just squint and pretend we are still over at the exchange. So shut up Andrew.
We move on to the Collin’s household, where Gina finally graduated from college, took her place as heir, as much as I detest, and has returned. Nothing has really changed since Gina left. AS YOU CAN SEE, KARL is still HERE. His presence is slowing killing my soul.
“Oh honey is that you!? I didn’t think you were coming back! I could have sworn that it was going to be Charlotte that was coming back for the house and what not!” ~Roulette
“No mother, I won the poll, of course. Can’t believe you doubted me! I’m here to take my spot in the limelight!” ~Gina
“Well that’s great honey. Are you the only one that came back to the house after graduation?” ~Roulette
“Nope! I’m back too sis! And look at what I learned from college! I learned how to walk through walls!” ~Barnabas
And yes, like I said before, Barnabas is back and as stupid as ever. Honey, don’t take that stupid wall glitch with you from the dorm, we don’t need that here.
“Who let YOU back in the house you loser?!” ~Roulette
“Wha-what?!” ~Barnabas
“Yeah, that’s right you sparkling freak! I hate you and you shouldn’t have come back with my daughter! You are stupid!” ~Roulette
“Mom, that’s not true. Vampires don’t sparkle!” ~Gina
Uh, ok then. So Roulette and Barnabas for any number of reasons realized that they hated each other with a passion. I really didn’t see this coming at all, and for whatever reason too.
The first night back, in order to avoid more squabbling between Barnabas and Roulette, I sent Barnabas upstairs with Gina to teach her how to work on mechanical for her job in oceanography.
“So you want to catch fish, right? Well first, you must know how to take out a man’s stomach in ten minutes without killing him and replace all his organs with children’s toys. Only then will Poseidon realize that you are the woman for the job and promote you.” ~Barnabas
“I don’t know Barnabas. Is it really safe to transport a human heart with a can if insect repellant?” ~Gina
“Of course it is! That’s what all the great surgeons do! Makes them less prone to get bitten by mosquitoes later on in life!” ~Barnabas
“Soooo, what do I do with the heart?” ~Gina
“I don’t know, just chunk it. I don’t really think he needs it more than he needs that can.” ~Barnabas
“Oh no Barnabas! He’s flat lining, he’s FLAT LINING! What do I do, what do I do!?” ~Gina
“Just unplug it from the wall for a second and then plug it back up. He will be fine.” ~Barnabas
“There you go little blue torso man. I think you are going to be all right.” ~Gina
I don’t know Gina. The fact that you took all his blue baby hearts out and replaced it with toys, lighters, and cans might cause him serious harm in the future. But that’s just me.
The next day, she called the new male slob to invite over and move in.
“Hey, remember me? it’s Gina! You know, we met in my last year of college and became friends! Would you like to come over and hang out with me?! You will? That’s great! I’ll be here when you get here!” ~Gina
Needless to say, she was lying.
“Oh, Great Uncle George! Looking fine! How about we skip work and go straight to this restaurant downtown, just you and me baby!” ~Gina
“I’m so sorry my dumbass daughter invited a guest over and then ran off to work like she did. She doesn’t have a good concept on schedules. But you can still come in and make yourself at home, we don’t mind!” ~Roulette
So I guess it’s time to announce the new slob:
“Hi! My name is Zion Tang! My friends call me Zion Tang. I don’t have friends! My personality is 0/6/0/4/6, and my LTW is to get to the top of the culinary career! I like farting, and athletic women, and burping. TV is nice too.” ~Zion
“Why Andrew, this is a totally fantastic house! I could surely make myself at home here!” ~Zion
“Don’t worry kid, because you soon will!” ~Andrew
“Hahaha, what?” ~Zion
Remington! What in the name of crap are you doing?!
“Um, this isn’t what it looks like!” ~Remington
You are shoving a whole cake down the front of your PANTS!
“…Ok, so it’s exactly what it looks like.” ~Remington
Where did he even GET a wedding cake?! There hasn’t been a wedding on this lot in weeks!
Meanwhile, Gina got a promotion and brought this home. She’s not even married and she’s already halfway through her oceanography career.
Oh, you can totally tell that that isn’t just laid out over the grass. It completely matches the rest of the yard. /sarcasm
Even with her promoting so quickly, it’s back to skilling for her.
“Hmmmm, I wonder who was the last person to touch Remington’s van.” ~Gina
“Gee, I wonder, Miss Gina.” ~Remington
“Well, that’s strange. The last person to touch my koi pond is a non existent sim child, considering that I just put the koi pond down here half an hour ago. It’s brand new!” ~Gina
One of the many mysteries in the sim world I guess, Gina.
“Oh Zion! I’m so glad you are back! You are just so hot and I’m so glad we are friends!” ~Gina
“Gee, what’s my daughter doing out there with that guy?
………………………………..
What am I doing again?” ~Andrew
Just get back to working, Andrew.
“Ah, no no, just because we are best friends and almost lovers doesn’t mean I’m ready to move in with you just yet, Gina.” ~Zion
“But, we are best friends! You are even friends with my mom and dad! What’s the deal?” ~Gina
“Just give me time. I’m not one to make commitments.” ~Zion
So, the new slob sim is a complete tease. And he proves later that it’s not just a one time deal…
“Mmmm, I love the smell of burnt fish in the afternoon! Say, what’s that smell? It doesn’t smell like my usual cooking. Kinda smells like old food bags and unused, glitchy, ten day old wedding cake!” ~Roulette
Hmm, good question Roulette. You might want to look down at what you are stepping in.
“I can’t believe that loser is back in my house. I knew I should have kicked his ass out back when I had the chance.” ~Roulette
“Shut up, you narcoleptic sissy. Like you could stand a chance against me!” ~Barnabas
“Roulette might not be able to take you down right yet, but I know I sure can, you loser!” ~Marionette
“Jeez, what is it with my own sisters turning on me? Seriously! What did I ever do to you guys?!”~ Barnabas
“Hey, guys, can you get out of my way? I can’t get off this window ledge if you are blocking my exit route.” ~Papaya
“Yeah, you heard my sister! I don’t consider you my brother no more! You are a total loser and we hate you!” ~ Roulette
“Seriously, you idiots! I have to pee! Get out of my way before I telepathically call animal services on you!” ~Papaya
“Jeez Uncle Barnabas! That was weak! You could have easily taken out my mother and my creepy aunt!” ~Gina
“But we all have nice points! We can’t just fight each other, and it’s against my nature to go off and hit a woman, much less my own sisters!” ~Barnabas
“You just have to be tougher, like me! Watch me and I’ll show you how it’s done!” ~Gina
“YOU! Stupid skank bag! Get off my porch before I @#@%& @*$&#$@(#& and @(%& #*%&@*@ and turn it into a hat! This is MY house! And this is MY legacy! MINE MINE MINE! I’m the HEIR you are SPARE! Get out!” ~Gina
“Jeez, ok, I’m going, I’m going!” ~Marionette
Can’t you just feel the love?
“Hey, Zion? I was wondering if you would like to come over again and hang out with me some more? Mime Cat? Sure we have that, we have it on DVD and VHS!” ~Gina
“Oh Gina. You are so sweet and suave and your lips are soft as rose petals in a warm summer breeze!” ~Zion
“And you, my dear Zion, smell less like garbage than you did the day before and your arm is as stringy as processed cheese and tastes as such! How would you like to move in with me and add your $14 to our massive bank account?” ~Gina
“You had me at cheese and bank account, but moving in with you? I can’t believe you would even consider such! I’m going home.” ~Zion
“Ugh, what is wrong with this moron?” ~Gina
I don’t know Gina, I think he’s broken.
“So then I was like yeah, and he was like no way and then I totally arrested him on the spot and confiscated his bubble hookah and it looks great in my living room at my house.” ~Abhjeet
“Hey, Abhjieet, does this chinese food taste funny to you?” ~Roulette
“Not really. I’ve pretty much smoked my sense of smell and taste away.” ~Abhjieet
“Blargh! Ugh, I can’t believe I’m throwing up! I can’t be pregnant, I haven’t slept with anyone since the twins were born! What’s going on?!” ~Roulette
Gee, I wonder. Shouldn’t have something to do with the food, should it? /more sarcasm
BARNABAS! Why is your plumbob orange?! Get back in your coffin, RIGHT NOW!
“But I was so bored! I get miserable and can’t sleep when I’m bored! I want to play! I like water puddles!” ~Barnabas
Do I have to lock you up in the box?
“OHMAHGAWD! A fire! I can’t believe lightning sets plants on fire! And this is unbelievable! There is a BENCH in my way! I can’t panic if I can’t get to it!” ~Calista
And I thought Barnabas was stupid.
“Oh Zion. Your eyes are as brown as new mahogany and your long greasy hair just shimmers in the sunlight. I think I’m in love with you!” ~Gina
“I love you too girl!” ~Zion
“How about moving in with me?” ~Gina
“Hmmm… no.” ~Zion
“Dammit man, work with me here. You are going to be the bane of my existence, aren’t you? Do you really have to make my heirship harder than it really needs to be?” ~Gina
There is no way Zion can be this hard to move in. Most sims move in after a good solid best friend relationship. He won’t even move in with his Love. I seriously think this one has a dysfunctional memory disorder.
“Oh no! Fire! FIRE! OOH! OOOH OOOOH AAAHHH!! OOOOOOOOH EEEEE EEEE OOOH!” ~Calista
I’m not paying you for this.
Look! Andrew isn’t as useless as he is coming off as half the time! He has spent a while working on his robotics and has finally built his first servo!
And for a while, I thought about getting a servo because I see that they make such great caretakers, some of the time.
But with Barnabas in the house, Roulette, Andrew, Gina, the dog, HOPEFULLY Zion soon, and room for an heir and spare, I just don’t have room for a servo at the moment.
Maybe one day I will use this poor little guy, but until then, there is a servo sitting in the garage, just chilling near the window until the day comes for someone to turn him on and show him some love.
“Oh mother, my life is great! I’m still so happy I am heir. I’m so smart and I skill like a top, and I’m pretty to boot. My children are going to look great but there won’t be an heir like me after me.” ~Gina
“Seriously dear, I really don’t care.” ~Roulette
“Besides, Gina, can’t you see I’m busy wanting to attack your mother?!” ~Barnabas
Barnabas, go do something else.
“Hi Stinky! Haven’t seen you since college! Would you like a treat? Sometimes I think you are the only friend I have in this house.” ~Barnabas
“You bet your sorry vampire butt he is your only friend. And you won’t have friends when I’m done with you!” ~Marionette
Ok, let’s go somewhere else, Barnabas.
“Get it? Because you will be dead.” ~Marionette
Yeah, we got it.
“@%&@(* MORON! Don’t play fetch in MY house with a wild dog! Are you stupid?!” ~Roulette
“Screw you, Roulette.” ~Barnabas
In the end, I decided that the best thing to to was split them up and make them skill for the rest of the night. There was seriously no call for all the arguing they were doing.
“You have been invited to join a club you will never go to! Congradulations!” ~Makoto
“Don’t care.” ~Barnabas
“Oh would you look at that. Our witch neighbors still have a stone wall around their property.” ~Roulette
“Stupid @*#$& for spying on me at six in the morni-what the hell?! There is a DOOR in my way!” ~Sabrina
“Zion, please…” ~Gina
“No! Stop calling me over here if all you are going to do is harrass me about making this commitment! I like being my own man!” ~Zion
*mumbles curses and swears*
Sometime between all the bickering and the skilling and the Zion, I built onto the house. There is now a bar room next to the dining room, and I think it’s one of the chicest rooms in the house.
However, because you can’t really tell from here, I would like to point out that the lot that the legacy house is on is stupid and probably a little broken. Most of the time, when I want to lay down new foundation, it tells me that it can’t level out the ground in that area or whatever. Even if it’s perfectly flat already. So I have to pick around these “bad spots” in the ground and build around them , so the house looks like a strange maze sometimes with it’s extra rooms and weird hallways and such. I feel like I’m building a replica of the Winchester house.
YEEESS! Finally! Mr. High and Mighty finally broke down and accepted Gina’s proposal to move in with her. I never thought this day would come!
“Haha, so you are the new man in the house! Good luck with that, weirdo!” ~Zion
“What does he mean by that?” ~Zion
I don’t know. Probably depends. He could mean the curse of never finding a job, the relentless ghosts, Karl, who knows.
“So I’m the new man of the house, correct? Does this mean that I get to sit around the house and watch movies all day?” ~Zion
“Wow, you are really stupid. Even I wasn’t that stupid. Not only do you really have to pull your weight around here, you can’t be seen looking like that.” ~Andrew
“Ew, what? NO! I don’t want to wear this! It’s fancy! I don’t do fancy!” ~Zion
Do not care, Zion. I think you look WAY better than you did before. Now go to the front yard now, Gina has a surprise for you.
“Oh Zion, the moment you moved in I knew it was also the time to purpose to you, because I wanted to get going with this while I’m still on your good side! So Zion Tang…” ~Gina
“Will you become Zion Collins with me?!” ~Gina
“Oh WOW! I mean, this is a big step and I don’t know if I’m ready for this commitment…” ~Zion
“Say yes or you lose body parts.” ~Gina
“Yes!” ~Zion
That night, they had a wedding party, because no use waiting any longer than I freaking had to. It may look like they are all going to the fancy funeral house door, but for once, I’m using it to my advantage. I’m having the wedding in the funeral home!
“Oh wow, she’s really pretty! I don’t think she went to college with me, because I don’t think I have any photos of her on my dorm bedroom wall.” ~Dawson
“Yeah, well, she hasn’t called me lately, and I’m really mad at her! How could she really stand me up like that for this long?!” ~Karl
Stop your whining Karl, nobody cares. I’m just glad you stopped showing at the house like you had been doing and consider yourself lucky I even considered inviting you here!
“I don’t know if I can go through with this. Marriage is such a big commitment…” ~Zion
“Yeah, but bathing isn’t and you can’t seem to even do that.” ~Gina
“So, you ready to get married and finally let me reach my full potential as the heir to my legacy?” ~Gina
“Yeah, you know, as soon as your makeup wearing friend over there would stop making a scene in the middle of the aisle with the dog.” ~Zion
“Yeah, that’s Karl. He hoards attention, that’s what he does here on our lot.” ~Gina
The wedding actually looked really nice, and was going really well.
“Hmm, I overslept. I heard noise out here and came to see what was going on.” ~Andrew
Oh nothing, Andrew. You know, just your own daughter’s wedding, you didn’t miss anything really important. /even more sarcasm
The reception was nice, bla bla bla, the family was having fun and bonding and was actually looking like a great wedding.
Until the ghosts came out.
“DON’T BLEH ME, I BLEH YOU!!!” ~Korey
“OH NOES! This funeral home is HAUNTED!!” ~Sunny
You don’t say.
“Ok, I don’t have time to wait for you to crap around like this, it’s time for babies NOW!!” ~Gina
“But babies are such a big commitment-” ~Zion
“Pants OFF now, mister.” ~Gina
“Ah, yeah. The woohoo was so good, she turned into a man.” ~Zion
Uh, I don’t think so. As soon as the woohoo was over, Andrew comes back in, and goes back to bed, proving again just how much he cares about the biggest event of his daughter’s life.
But it’s not just a wedding. It’s also a birthday party, because Roulette is getting old today, and I decided to have her birthday in the mausoleum, under her funeral photo.
“Really? Does it really have to be in such a depressing place?” ~Roulette
Don’t care, cake now.
“I’m old.” ~Roulette
She actually looks more pale than she does old. As if all she did was lose the pigments in her skin. I have to admit, she aged really well.
“Oh Papaya! This party was the death of me! It was terrible! It’s killed meeeee!” ~Barnabas
“Oh come on, the party wasn’t that bad.” ~Papaya
“Doesn’t matter, party is over. The witches next door were complaining again.” ~Cop
So yes, that was that. And so, nothing happened again until the following night:
“Oh look, I got a promotion at my job…” ~Gina
“Oh look, I’m pregnant! And I have lost my awesome hair!” ~Gina
So find out next time in the next chapter whether this new baby will be a boy or a girl! But before I wrap up this chapter, let’s check in on S.L.O.B. one more time before we go.
“I would like to call this meeting of S.L.O.B. to announce my findings on our target Sabrina, and to discuss any further plans to destroy her for what she has done to slob-kind.” ~Brittany
“This better be important, Brittany. I’m missing my shows.” ~Linda
“Well, as you know, I was looking around on Google, and fiddling with some cameras I had placed around the Tree House the day before we moved out, and I would like to show you my findings!” ~Brittany
“Why did you put cameras around the Tree House that day?” ~Linda
“Um… I was trying to find out who took my tuna sandwich from the fridge, actually.” ~Brittany
“Now, if you would please direct your attention to the screen on the wall behind you, I will now show you a Powerpoint on what I had found out about our target.” ~Brittany
“This better be what we need.” ~Linda
“Well, as I was saying, Sabrina is going to be a tough person to destroy. She has maxed all her skills, has several badges and many many friends, most of them her family, children, grandchildren, and that kid that she’s been dating that’s related to her roommate or some thing.”
“She’s super playful, but impatient as crap, which means low points on the Nice scale and she’s actually more shy than outgoing. She worked at many jobs, her last job being a space pirate, which perma-platinumed her for life. She drowned once, but came back and killed Iama once for stealing her son’s inheritance she gave him after her own death. But those are all stories for other days.”
“Right now she spends all her time at her Tree House, with her friend Whitney, her friend’s cat Sugar, and her dog, W.D. If you were to look on her Simbook profile, you would think that the profile was made for her dog more than it was for her, because of all the photos and junk she has is on this animal.”
“Then that’s it! That’s how we are going to destroy her!” ~Linda
“Through Simbook? I don’t think poking her and not liking her status updates are going to get you your vengeance.” ~Brittany
“No, stupid! We are going to destroy her by going after her weakness! For I now know what it is! Sabrina DOES have an Achilles heel, and that is…” ~Linda
“Her dog.” ~Linda
***
Find out what the S.L.O.B. has in mind, stay tuned, because crap is about to go down.
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