“Hello there, today I’m going to show you how to make a baked Alaska on my first ever (and probably last, most likely) episode of Cooking with Barnabas. Baked Alaskas are also good for the holiday season, because Alaska has snow, and snow happens during the holiday season! Or around here, after summer because WTF Seasons related options… *makes mess all over the counter because he’s not paying attention*
Ok so our recipe calls for vanilla ice cream, white cake mix, almond extract, sugar, some salt, tartar cream, some egg whites… and I accidentally got some old cough syrup mixed in after confusing it for the almond stuff… and I forgot all the measurements… oh well, measuring is for GIRLS”
“Alright now we have the oven preheated at about 420 degrees, but since our oven’s dial is broken, we are attempting to fast bake it at 764. That’s as low as this thing will go.”
“MY CLEAN COUNTERS, WHAT THE EFF DID YOU DO IN THE KITCHEN” ~Remington
“SHUT UP MAID MAN, YOU ARE RUINING MY SHOW”
“Now fancy baked Alaskas burn, and when sims want our food to burn, we mean “flaming fires from the pits of hell” burn. So, I’m adding a sultry mix of 90% Jack Daniels, 5% kerosene for the sweet burning smell, and a little something I found in the fridge labeled ‘Andrew’s Fart Experiment’, and since it seemed rather old, I’m guessing it’s from the first Andrew, so I’m going to say this is going to be pretty powerful.
And now, take your fancy little dessert and drown the HELL out of it”
*spills all over the floor and on pants*
“That’s ok, it comes with the hell-drowning. My aim is a little off and I am a little woozy, I guess I shouldn’t have drunken some of this.”
“Hee hee, I lit this match on my butt. Maybe it’s a sign that I should go bathe or something…
Nah.”
*Psst fzz*
“Aw man, what, no big flame?! Dang, where’s my fancy, my sparking flamey fire from-”
“OH $&#% MY BUTT IS ON FIRE”
*slams cake so hard into the wall it comes out the other side*
“NOOO, ANDREW, ANNA, SOMETHING HELP MY FEET, THEY ARE DRUNK AND BURNING”
“Dang man, why did you have kerosene on your pants?!” ~Marlene
“Yes, get it good on my butt and between my legs. I never want to feel that burning sensation there ever again…”
“And bam, just like that, that’s now you make a flaming baked Alaska.
For more details, go to my own site’s homepage at www.NotDarkShadowsBarnabasCollins@simpage.NotARealSitePlz.com.”
“And now, my family can sit down to a sugary burnt holiday meal for the December festivities, and please ignore my aged great grandneice as she bathes in our kitchen sink through the window frame we just installed.
Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Super Duper Kwanzaa/Fabulous Cthulhu Recognition Day everyone! I celebrate them all ^_^” ~Barnabas
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