The Slobacy Chapter 6.6: Amin Amin

I’ve been kinda sitting on these two chapters for a while now (this one, and the next one that will be published, eh, next year or so at this rate) and they’ve just been waiting on being written.  I guess now that school is about out, this is now a better time than any I suppose. Let’s update!

We begin this chapter with forgetting that Courtney attempted to get her children into a private school again.  Once again, he showed up, and nothing is ready for him for a visit.

Oh crap guys.  Someone!  Anyone!  Make dinner!  Anything, I don’t care right now, we should have done this hours ago!

“Don’t worry, I’m on this, don’t need to tell me, I already prepared a fabulous dinner with fish and glitter.  Because I am an awesome kid, yes I am.” ~Kevin

“No arguing with that, if you didn’t randomly cook an awesome dinner right about now, well, no one would have :D” ~Andrew

So true.  Kevin, you are too cool of a kid.

Too bad Andrew goes out of his way to make the headmaster feel awkward.

“May I ask why your housemaid is tickling your father and giggling like a schoolgirl?” ~Headmaster

“Well… let’s just say that my dad’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” ~Courtney

You are NOT helping, Courtney!

“You guys had milkshakes?!  Why didn’t I get one too?!” ~Headmaster

“HAHA, I make everything all awkward and uncomfortable for your little dinner party, Kev!  Looks like there’s not going to be a fancy school in your future at all!” ~Andrew

“Haha, you screwed up your grandson’s future :D” ~Remington

“Jeez grandpa.  What have you been smoking lately?” ~Kevin

“Please Mr. Headmaster, meet my children’s stay at home nanny, my Uncle Barnabas, out of his coffin two hours early to grace us with his smokey burning presence!” ~Courtney

“Well hello Mr. Barnabas!  Pleased to meet your acquaintance to help distract me from these children’s terrible table manners!” ~Headmaster

“What are table manners?” ~Courtney

This time around, the headmaster said he would accept the kids into his school… but…

On his way home, I noticed that he glitched up and got stuck outside the house on the sidewalk.  He didn’t take his car, he didn’t teleport away after a couple hours, he just… stopped.

The next day he was still there, so I turned him into a statue in the empty corner of the yard.

I think he gives the yard a little more pizzazz.

This next little bit requires a short explanation.  See, a little while before now, I had sent someone to do some clothes shopping at a clothing store.  Upon leaving to go home, the new male slob walked onto the lot.  You know, right after my sim had just left.  So all I had was a glimpse of him, but I know he’s already out there!  And I must know who he is and what he looks like!

So I started sending the family out two at a time to find this new slob again.  Starting with Anna and Andrew.

“Alright.  Here’s a picture of the man we are looking for.  We find him, we tie him up, and throw him in the river.  Right?” ~Anna

“Ok, first, no.  And second, this isn’t a photo of him dear, we, like, have no idea what he looks like.  We are going to have to go with his outfit, it’s the only lead we have.” ~Andrew

Of course, they don’t really spend any time “looking”.  Just doing cute couple things, like this.

Aw.

“Traffic jam!  Come on you old fart, move!” ~Robert

Well.  So much for loving nature.

“SCREW THESE BUGS!  SCREW THEM!  DIE ROACHES DIE” ~Hyacinth

“Poor bugs.  Even nature lovers hate them :\” ~Andrew

Eventually they got tired and got switched out with Amin, Barnabas, and Courney.

Nothing like stripping naked and sponge bathing in public four seconds in though.

“GAH!  I knew skating in four inch heels was going to be a bad idea!” ~Courtney

“HahaBLEH, I am the skating BOSS!” ~Barnabas

“I think I broke my ankle ;_;” ~Courtney

Back to Andrew and Anna:

“Considering we have a zillion billion toys, I was going to buy something…” ~Andrew

“Hee hee, how do I cash register :>” ~Stephen

“Well, at least I’m totally smarter than George over there.” ~Andrew

“Ignoring customers on the job again I see, Stephen.” ~CJJ

“Sure am, bossman!” ~Stephen

“Good for you, bud!  Here have a raise! :D” ~CJJ

“How did this place stay in business?” ~Andrew

I don’t remember, Andrew.

Andrew and Anna ended this shift with some good old back alley hotel woohoo.

“Andrew baby, I think we are being watched…” ~Anna

“Yeah, that weird one eyed viking guy’s been watching us for twenty minutes.  Should I invite him in?” ~Andrew

When I returned from this trip with Anna and Andrew, I discovered my headmaster statue was gone!

I kinda half anticipated this though.  But he did last a good 24 hours on the lot.

Back to searching, this time with older brother Kevin.  He didn’t find squat either.

“Yeah I did!  There’s a slob!  HEY!  We’ve been looking for you!” ~Kevin

“Sup.” ~Brook

Yeah, NOT slob women please, Kev.

Barnabas’ turn:

“I found a slo-” ~Barnabas

WOMAN!  GAME!  STOP THIS!

WHY

TWO slob women this time?!  I just can’t kill them fast enough!

“If we keep flash mobbing the lots the Collins keep showing up at, you think we will stop being murdered and turned into ignored ghosts?” ~Blonde Slob

“I like that idea better!  Better than that half baked idea from that S.L.O.B. flyer I found the other day.  Stealing puppy dogs for ransom?  How barbaric is that?!” ~Other Slob Girl Who I Agree With

“WHO CARES!  Komei wants both of you to GTFO D:<” ~Komei

Komei, you bitch about everyone, go away.

Barnabas also ends his shift at the shady hotel, with this um…

Whitney, this is NOT helping save my simself from being held hostage!

“Jeez, the things they do at hotels in the middle of the night for $10 these days…” ~Edward

“Oooh, I wonder what he’ll do for $10, hee hee…” ~Whitney

“Wow, they are letting just about anybody join the vampire ranks these days, huh?” ~Barnabas

Barnabas, jeez, be nice.

And upon coming home with Barnabas, the headmaster also popped up, randomly, and announces to a unconscious Amin that he did not, in fact, find the kids up to his standards for his school.

Yeah

I was VERY ANGRY

I don’t know.  But he lied.  The kids were still accepted into his school anyway.

Oh and ignored Barbie grew up ignored.  LOL am I the only one who forgot she was still in the house?

Andrew was chosen to skill Barbie, much to Barnabas’ screams of protest from inside his nailed up coffin.

“Papa, boken bafftub!  Me wet!” ~Barbie

“No sweetie, the correct word is ‘fancy bathroom fountain!'” ~Andrew

He failed to teach Barbie anything (WHY) and went to rub his head on

Oh hell guys, COME ON.  The baby is still in the room!

When he was done with… that… Andrew then ran off to violently ass slap the maid.  Who he’s apparently back to being romantic with.  Again.

“I find this rude, disturbing, and not with my cousin Anna! >:O” ~Ivan

Then, we went back to the slob scavanger hunt with Courtney and Barnabas.

“So tell me Barnabas, why have you come to me tonight?” ~Courtney

“Well, I think my problem is the fact that I don’t have anyone to talk to during the day, and I get very lonely and depressed, and I’m willing to hurt myself for a little friendship, you know…” ~Barnabas

“Barnabas.  You are a vampire.  You need your damn coffin.  Do you really need to see a shrink for this kind of common sense?” ~Courtney

“…Yes :I” ~Barnabas

“Well here’s what I propose.  How about you get a job and pull some weight around at the house?  Trust me, work will kill that lonely feeling that I KNOW for a fact you don’t really have, Mr. I-Have-All-The-Attention-Anyway.” ~Courtney

“Well, now here’s what I’m going to propose.  No on the job, and besides, the new slob just walked right by you and is probably on his way home, Courtney.” ~Barnabas

“Yeah, screw your problems, I got to go stop him!” ~Courtney

“I’m so happy for you dad, I’m so proud you are finally getting the professional help you need!” ~Zenith

“I could twist your little neck shut, son.” ~Barnabas

Haha, new slob!  You’re mine now!

“Ew, NO!  Stinky, fugly, not attractive to me at all.” ~Courtney

Do not care about your opinion of him Courtney, it’s not important to me at all.

“I agree, loser vampire-faced wannabe, with Zion hair and a stinky attitude!  Yuck!” ~Old Guy

“Don’t worry, after a makeover I’m sure he’s going to look just fine!” Courtney

“Do I look like I give a flying $*%& about your opinions, you geriatric old prick and you hooker dressed heifer?! I think I look fine!” ~Slob

Great, another mean one.  Hopefully when he’s married in, it will all be beaten out of him.

“Why a new male slob!  Pleased to meet you!  I bet that we will be the best of friends before too long!” ~Barnabas

“Please bitch, I don’t make friends with anyone, especially some ginger vampire like you.” ~Slob

“Well then, kiss my butt too, you ass.” ~Barnabas

“Come on boys, can’t we just get along?!” ~Courtney

So we finally found our little slob man for the 7th generation heiress, and get this:

His name is freaking Amin too.

Come on game, get original with your naming!  Two Andrews and now two Amins?  You’re getting lazy.

Speaking of heiress’s, one of our little contestants grows up when the search party finally came home.

Way to look thrilled about it, Sharon.

“Why should I, I’ve been ignored all chapter, and I feel so overlooked until it’s time for birthdays… woop-freaking-doo.” ~Sharon

“Anyone care?  I’m growing up now.  Woot and whatever ._.” ~Sharon

Way to have the most solemnest birthday ever, Sharon.

She was so bored with growing up that she fell asleep.  Poor overlooked child.

“Maybe I should have cared more after she grew out of that cute baby stage… Nah.” ~Barnabas

She rolls pleasure sim, and her LTW is to have 50 first da…OH HELL NO, this is getting rerolled in college.

Does a new makeover make you feel better, Sharon?

“Nope.  Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to go sulk back into my room and write depressing poetry on my Simblr and cry into my Edward Cullen body pillow now.  #FML” ~Sharon

“Boo.  Collins over Cullens anydayYEAH” ~Barnabas

“So glad to finally meet the man that’s going to be knocking up one of my little girls with babies in the next couple of months or so 😀 😀 :D” ~Amin

Oh WOW, Amin. You hardly have met the guy and this is the topic you first pick?!  No joke people, Amin starts talking about babies the moment New Amin walks onto the lot.

“Oh I don’t mind having babies with your babies at all, Strange Man I Don’t Know Yet *creepy face*” ~New Amin

“Oh yeah person person plus!” ~Old Amin

Slobs.  There’s father material right there if I’ve ever seen it

At the same time, it was also Barbie’s birthday, so Amin gets to meet at least one of his contending future brides.

“Yum yum yum!  Old man in makeup come my way!” ~Creepy Lady

“Oh, Remington.  Here’s someone I’d like to introduce to you!  This is New Amin, he’s going to be living here in the not too distant future.  Say hello, Remington!” ~Kevin

“I’m going to destroy you so hard…” ~Amin

“Try me bitch.” ~Remington

“Oh no, OH NO, I think I broke something over here guys!  HALP, something bad’s happening!” ~Amin

Oh good.  Barbie needs more childhood trauma, like her father’s head being shoved up her colon (Oh god that was a terrible sentence)

“Sigh, I’ll go get the plunger.” ~Remington

“If this is the kind of violence I have to look forward to, sign me up definetely!” ~New Amin

“New Amin!  Quick!  Grab my hand and save me!” ~Amin

“Nah, there’s cake involved.  You’re on your own, loser!” ~New Amin

“Ok baby, enough with the world’s most awkward piggy back, time to let you down now.” ~Amin

“Da da?” ~Barbie

“Sweetie, Grandpa Andrew taught you to talk.  Now it’s time for you to act like a big girl and stop with the cute toddler act.  That was so five minutes ago.” ~Andrew

“;_;” ~Barbie

“Hi Mr. Amin!  Glad to meet you, my name is Sharon and I’m one of the girls that might be your new wife one day!” ~Sharon

“Oh YES.  This is nice, young little suga’ mama, I can agree to this!” ~Amin

“… You know, there’s nothing really in this legacy that shocks me anymore.” ~Remington

“And I’m Barbie, and I also hope to become your future wife!  Tee hee, I just started the first grade, so I’m a big girl!” ~Barbie

“Aw how cute, the short little boobless one thinks she’s going to be my future wife one day.  Too bad kid, not really all that into pre-tweens.” ~Amin

“Good, that means no competition for me then.  To Twitter: ‘Gettin me a BF finally, lil sis no chance lol ❤ 😉 #SuckItPedoBear'” ~Sharon

._.

“So I declare we go around the room and tell a little bit more about ourselves, ok?  Since I’m newest, I’ll go first.  My name is Barbie, you knew that Sharon, and I have stats of 0/10/0/10/10, I like ice cream, and mud, and sitting around all day in my PJs, and farting, and llamas, and llamas in hats, and hats in hats, and hats in TF2, and TF2 in llama hats, and frogs, and nuclear fusion, and Mr. Rodger’s Neighborhood-” ~Barbie

“Wow, this girl really knows how to talk someone’s ear off… shut up kid D:<” ~New Amin

“Yeah, I know, I lost interest a long time ago.  I’m gonna go text my friends and complain about how boring this is and tell everyone on my Simbook how uninterested I am, #AnnoyingLittleSisterROFL” ~Sharon

“Ugh, your little girl REALLY has a damn motormouth on her!” ~New Amin

“Yeah sorry about that.  Sorry you couldn’t really hit it off with either of them.  Hopefully Sharon will come out of her teen shell and/or Barbie will hit puberty soon and you could try to get to know them better later or something.” ~Amin

Our Amin really isn’t a very bright daddy, is he…

Meanwhile, the oldest sims in the house spent the majority of their lifetime reward points on stuff, and Andrew splurged and got him a little love tub 😉

“Ooh, yeah baby!  Now who to invite first, my wife or the maid?” ~Andrew

“Oh hell yeah!  Grandpa finally became FTW!  #NewHotTubYeah!” ~Sharon

“Um, you two, this isn’t exactly a… “friendly” little hot tub you know, this is grandpa’s “special” tub.” ~Andrew

“Special as in how?  For your osteoporosis or something, Grandpa?” ~Kevin

“No Kevin, not that kind of special.  I mean “special special”… as in, grandma is going to come out in a few minutes for “special time with grandpa” special.” ~Andrew

“EW!  That’s so sick grandpa!  #FoxyGrandpaFail, EW!” ~Sharon

“Intresting.  I was wondering why it was playing Barry White for whatever reason.” ~Kevin

So with that we end this chapter for the Collins.  Next chapter: more stuff.

But before I go do other things like sleep, let’s update with the S.L.O.B.s for a bit, seeing as we haven’t even mentioned them for 8 or 9 chapters.  That’s a long time for my simself to be locked up.

“Weeeh, about nine months in this damn cell and no one has come saved me yet!  I could have had a baby and no one would have noticed, weeeh!” ~Sabrina

“Psst, Sabrina, stop your whiny blubbering and come over here for a second…” ~Brittany

“BAH, what the hell do you want, you backstabbing traitor?!  I thought we were friends Brittany!  How could you let Linda do this to me?!” ~Sabrina

“Look Sabrina, I didn’t want this to happen either.  You think I really wanted to exert all this energy into capturing you and preparing you for a painful death at the hands of vengeful fart zombies?  All I wanted to do was sit around and watch tv and eat Cheetos, but Linda tricked me into thinking this was the right thing to do… I hate this just as much, Sabrina!” ~Brittany

“NO! Not listening to you anymore, this is just another trick to get me fried or tortured again, and I know it!  Bite me Brittany, I won’t listen to your lies anymore!” ~Sabrina

“Sabrina, please believe me when I say I want to help now!  I’ve been thinking and I believe that you shouldn’t have killed off the female slobs, but I know you did have a good intention, and I’m just as wrong for bringing your little dog into this and hurting you for Linda’s sick idea for revenge!  I really want out of this, and I don’t want to torture my friend anymore!  We are still friends right?” ~Brittany

“Like hell, Brittany.  Go away.” ~Sabrina

“Look, it’s trust me, or die three days from now at noon.  And at the rate you are going, you aren’t escaping from this escape-proof cell anytime soon.” ~Brittany

“FINE.  I guess there’s nothing really at stake except your trust… and I’m tired of trying to dig a hole through the cement with a shiv made out of a spoon handle…” ~Sabrina

“Well, you trust me enough to tell me that, so I guess that’s ok…” ~Brittany

“So how exactly are you going to sneak me by the horde of zombies and their queen, huh? Massive stink cloud or something?” ~Sabrina

“Trust me, distracting them won’t be hard at all.  I have a plan that will easily get them out of the way long enough to pick through this lock and run you off this lot.  All I have to say is ‘Party at Googycoos’ and they’ll be out of here faster than… well, faster than slob zombies on a regular day, I’m sure.” ~Brittany

“That actually sounds like it might work!  Well, I guess I got nothing to lose.  You stab me in the back and I’ll just haunt you for the rest of your life I suppose.” ~Sabrina

“Don’t worry, that won’t be necessarily.  I’ve gone over the scenario several times in my head and there’s no way this is not foolproof!” ~Brittany

“So don’t tell anyone!  Ssh, ok?” ~Brittany

“Can W.D. know?” ~Sabrina

“Um… sure?” ~Brittany