The Slobacy Chapter 7.3: Cleaning House

Welcome back!  Did you know that I started this legacy before graduating high school, and now, after I graduated college, I’m still no where NEAR the ending of this legacy?  It’s true!

Last chapter I got so behind that I got all the kids mixed up and called them all the same stupid name until I figured out who was who.  Now I can tell you who the children at the end of last chapter were!  The red-dressed girl was Jamie, and the monkey shirt girl was Kanye.

The baby being taken care of by an adult that is clearly not one of the idiot adults already in the house is obviously Kim.

“Thank goodness, someone hired a nanny.  I’m saved!” ~Kim

All the adults sans Barnabas had to work and Barnabas was obviously standing in the upstairs hallway starving to death sleeping.

Other things that happened in the last chapter: Old Amin died, but he was killed when he starved to death at Jamie’s/Kanye’s birthday party.

We open this chapter with a major case of cockroaches.

“We shall invade this home, and spread around influenza as if it’s something we are capable to do quickly and efficiently!  Also, we hide amongst your grass, like tiny bug ninjas!  You will never see us!  Hahaha!  Don’t look to the left of this image, near the center, that’s not us, not at all, hahaha!” ~Cockroaches

Barnabas: “Better call an exterminator, because I’m not allowed to leave the house to stomp on them, and Beth isn’t watching the kids while she’s stomping on them either.”

Aybolt: “I suppose this means you are STILL useful after all.”

“Doo dee doo, doing a job sims typically take care of by themselves, it’s nice to actually be used for once. I think this is the first time I was used the ENTIRE time this game has been on this computer!  Oh wells, goodbye roaches!” ~Carmen

“And look!  Another pile of bugs!  I got my work cut out for me today!” ~Carmen

Damn, I only saw the one pile. The Collins’ house is more nasty than I thought.

“Of course, it doesn’t help if this is their living situation.” ~Carmen

“WHY BOTHER, THEY DON’T CARE EITHER WAY *cries and hurls garbage off the porch and goes back in*” ~Remington

“It’s ok, I’m going to try to clean up around here right quick, because this is no way to raise a child in an environment like this.” ~Beth

“Good to see someone cares at this nasty house.  Of course that means less work for me… what a quandary.” ~Carmen

Time for the last toddler in the household to have her birthday!  Barnabas helps Kim age up to her childhood years.

“Cool, because I’m getting real tired of these birthdays already.” ~Shanon

Shanon, you’ve never helped any of the children age up, shut your mouth.

“Wait, Kanye, what are you still doing up.  Go to bed, kid, don’t sleep in front of the tv.  I might want to watch that when no one is watching.” ~Amin

That’s not Kanye, you idiot.  This is Kim as a child, you know, the one you have with Shanon.

“If I keep playing stupid and have no connection to these kids, their mothers don’t get suspicious, and I can continue to live here like a bum.” ~Amin

“Stop grandmother, I was just applying face paint on my face to differentiate me from my “cousins”, I wasn’t cleaning the sink at all!” ~Kim

“Well you better not, you little neat freak!  There’s been a good layer of grime on that porcelain since I was a little girl and if you get rid of it, you are getting rid of little bits of myself!  So lay off the cleaning!” ~Courtney

“Yes grandmother…” ~Kim

Barnabas finished off all the portraits for the generation to hang in the mausoleum, ending them with a picture of Shanon.

He also took a portrait of his portrait’s portrait portrait.  It’s a long art series of his that he works on every now and then, involving a picture of himself, and a long strip of wall.

“Nothing says art like a handsome series of portraits of myself.” ~Barnabas

“WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING?!  Jogging in the yard?!  Who needs excercise, when you need to be watching some Mime Cat, you naughty child!” ~Courtney

“Waaah!  Grandma, please, I love to play in the yard!” ~Jamie

“Not in my house you don’t!  Television now, miss!” ~Courtney

“Don’t scare me grandma, look, I’m eating cake, and all before putting the cake neatly and out of the way.” ~Kanye

“Yes, this pleases me…” ~Courtney

“THIS PLEASES MY SOUL” ~Courtney

I think it’s time to get an exorcist or something.“Hmmmmm, it appears we have a small patch of cockroaches.  Nothing I can’t handle, I think!” ~Barbie

That’s the THIRD patch today though!  Hell, the other patches from earlier are still in the yard!

“Ah, nothing like a quick, refreshing, and healthy few laps around the pool…” ~Jamie

“NO, HELP!  I DON’T WANT TO DROWN!” ~Jamie

Oh no?!

“Darn ghosts scared me in the pool!  I just can’t escape from them!” ~Jamie

Seriously?

“Oh good.  It appears one of them will be joining me in a few laps.  Don’t want.” ~Jamie

“WOW, I’m swimming, this is the most any ghost in TS2 has EVER done besides floating and spooking.  I’m the greatest ghost that has ever lived!” ~Andrew I

“HELLO GREAT GREAT GRANDCHILD” ~Andrew I

“Please, I just wanted to enjoy the pool today, not have a face fusion with my dead ancestor in here.” ~Barbie

“I’M JUST SCARING YOU TO BE A JERK, HAHAHA” ~Courtney

“Sigh, if we can’t get an exorcist out here, I wonder if a can of bug spray will work…” ~Barnabas

A can of germ disinfectant will probably do the trick.

“Alright guys, we got a problem over here.  I can’t seem to get out of the pool…I think Grandpa Andrew has cursed the pool…” ~Barbie

Dammit, we had one death scare with Barbie before, we DON’T need her to be scaring us again!  Get out of the pool, Barbie!

“Bad news bears, guys!  I can’t get in my coffin!  I guess this is it for me, no long nights of adventure, no day time adventures either, I suppose I burn up here and now…” ~Barnabas

“Oops, sorry Uncle Barnabas, I was catching some Z’s, since being in that pool almost killed me as well.” ~Jamie

“Oh, well I guess I have to get in the coffin then.  Nah, no I don’t *tries to go somewhere else*” ~Barnabas

Barbie also survives almost being stuck permanently in the pool and drowning.  I don’t know how Jamie got out, and I didn’t watch Barbie get out, but I assumed it was because Andrew had to eventually go back to his grave too.

“Yep, that’s good and all, but can you let me go back to using the bathroom through my dress.  Cool, thanks.” ~Barbie

Um.  Leroy?  I’m 99% sure that’s your own pee you’re licking up.

“And some good pee it is, especially when people in this house forget to feed me.” ~Leroy

Yuck.

“Is that what school is like?!  I didn’t like school, it wasn’t entertaining like it was on the television!  I need fun now!  I won’t do my work until I am happy and entertained!” ~Kanye

How about I take that homework and shove it up your-OH, I’m sorry, I’ll be nice, I will!  Still, I would LOVE to think of a time I was allowed to play before I got to do my homework…

“I’m not bored, but I could use some food, I think a good cornmeal cake will do just the trick!” ~Kim

A child, actually using the baking set that’s been in the kitchen for a billion years?  Is she even really a Collins?!  WHO ARE YOU?!

“My secret is putting flour in the pan to keep it from sticking!  I once told my mother this secret in baking and she literally stuck daffodil blooms in the cake batter!” ~Kim

“HAH, I remember, that!  That was when she took a photo of it and put the burnt, flaming mess on Simstagram, tagged as art!” ~Jamie

“Sure was!” ~Kim

“Oh darn, I guess my secret didn’t work after all.  Wait a second, that wasn’t flour!  Consarn it!  Who switched the flour with the powdered sugar in the cabinet?!” ~Kim

“Probably those darn ghosts.  They can’t stand it when we do something organized and neatly.  It really is an unfortunate thing.” ~Jamie

“Wait… is that a daffodil bloom stuck in here too?!” ~Kim

“Oh well, I guess now I’ll have to go walk out into the sun and play on the pinball machin-” ~Barnabas

“Noooo, I’m sorry, I’m getting out!  I just wanted a nap!” ~Kanye

I’m going to have to go back to locking Barnabas’ room.  Not to keep him in, but to keep those stupid kids out!

WHAT THE HELL

YOU’RE CLEANING THE DOG BED

YOU’RE CLEANING

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

“Jeez, use your inside voice, will you?  I could just smell the stench from downstairs, someone had to clean it up.” ~Kim

MOPPING PUDDLES TOO?!  EVEN THE MAID DOESN’T WORRY ABOUT THOSE THINGS!

“Well someone should!  What if someone slipped and fell in one of these?  I’m sorry, but there are plenty of other things the dog can lick water out of.” ~Kim

“Oh HELL!  I just had the worst nightmare!  My children, my own offspring were… they were CLEANING!” ~Amin

Don’t look out on the patio in front of you then, Amin.

“Oh?  ….Oh…” ~Amin

“You’ve made sure that that’s flour this time, correct, Kanye?” ~Kim

“Sure did!  There’s no way we are going to have a little accident with this bun in the oven!” ~Kanye

They later forgot about it and went fishing with Jamie in the backyard.

“I caught one!  And my first try too!  With no help at all!  I’m a natural pro!  And of course, being fit helps!” ~Jamie

The kids were then given a soccer field to play with, mostly Jamie, because no one else in the household was really having it.

“But I don’t want to learn ballet, I want to play soccer with the others!” ~Kim

“Oh, cry me a river, Kim.  I don’t want to play at all, this is mostly Jamie’s thing right here.” ~Kanye

“I think my time is finally up for me here.  I’m smoldering now where ever I go.  I hope this remains painless though.” ~Barnabas

You don’t have any decaying needs, Barnabas.  So you might just have to deal with it.

“There is no way you are getting that ball past my net!  I got this, my defense is impenetrable!” ~Kim

“Oh.  I missed.” ~Kim

And you’ve broken your ankle.  What a shame.

“Emotionaless collapse!” ~Kim

That’s no where near the ball!

“Wooo!  Take THAT from the MASTER!  I am the ultimate champion, Kim!  YEAH!  #BOSS” ~Shanon

“Hmph… if I had a silly hat that made me look like a goof, I would be winning at soccer too…” ~Kim

“I’m going to puff up to get over the embarassment of losing so badly…” ~Kim

I suppose of it makes you happy, go for it.

Since it was taking up a lot of space, I decided to start the greenhouse back up again, seeing as I can’t remember which generation it was last used.

“I would have preferred to put a bowling ball lane out here instead though…” ~Barbie

“No one cares what you want, Barbie, veggies are fun!” ~Barnabas

“Sup babe, wanna check out this cucumber patch?!” ~Amin

“What cucumbers, Amin?  You are taking care of the tomatoes, I’m working strawberries, and it’s Barnabas who’s growing cucumbers!” ~Shanon

“YEAH I am! *makes lewd gestures with the garden hoe*” ~Barnabas

“I wasn’t talking about actual cucumbers, I was… oh nevermind *openly stares at Shanon’s chest*” ~Amin

“Stop oogling my descendants and get back to work fertilizing this garden patch!  NOT fertilizing THEIR patches!” ~Andrew I

“Why are ghosts throwing out funnier innuendos than I am?!  Oh, this hurts!” ~Amin

“I don’t think you’re very pretty! :D” ~Barnabas

“Watch it, Barnabas.  I have the garden hoe now, and I’m not afraid to jam it into your skull, you know.” ~Shanon

“Now that we’re done here, wanna see how to get my sprinkler system working?” ~Amin

“Haha, that’s funny Amin, because Barnabas already got the sprinklers up and running again.  He just smacked them with a wrench and they were good as new again!  So you don’t have to worry about the sprinklers anymore!” ~Shanon

“Sigh *continues to openly stare at chest*” ~Amin

And that’s it for this chapter!  Next time stuff.  I’m going to try to finally wrap this long winded legacy this year, but I’m just running my mouth.  What do you think about all this, Roulette?

“I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE SAVED MY BED INSTEAD OF THIS %&#*ING GARDEN!  I’M EXHAUSTED!” ~Roulette

When are you not?