Welcome back to another chapter of the Slobacy, a matriarch that focuses on marrying as many male slobs in as possible. At least, that’s the plan. Apparently the game is sending me other signals. See, all that the game spawns after Korey, my first slob, are women.
And as you can see, it’s really bothering me. I don’t want to change my matriarch, but at the rate this is going, I thought I wasn’t going to have a choice.
I took a lot of people’s advice and started moving the girl slobs in somewhere, that somewhere being my own tree house.
“So, uh, Linda! I was thinking that because you are so… awesome *cough* … that you would like to move in with me!” ~Sabrina
“You are going to kill me off, aren’t you?” ~Linda
“Urm… probably.” ~Sabrina
Let’s just say moving in slobs is like pulling teeth.
*Two and a half hours later*
“Brittany, you know me well enough!” ~Sabrina
“Only because you pulled out boolprop.” ~Brittany
“Yes, and if you don’t move in with me, I’ll boolprop you six feet in the ground.” ~Sabrina
“Well if that’s the case, I would LOVE to move in with you!” ~Brittany
After getting those two in the house, I went looking for the new slob.
Meet Tara Curtain, a GIRL.
Bloody frick.
“Hello Tara! How about you move in with me and Sabrina!” ~Linda
“I’d love to, Linda! After all, how can I say no to your pretty face!” ~Tara
Urm, let’s move on to the legacy household downtown, where it’s getting close to Iama’s birthday.
What are you doing here, Contessa?
“I’ve b-b-been f-flying for t-t-t-t-two days n-n-now. C-can you help m-m-me out?” ~Contessa
I understand that snow covers all items left out in the yard, but really? Bats are items?
Anyway, you all remember Iama. After the last chapter, I was going to try to breed her with Korey again and hope I get a boy, seeing as the matriarch is doomed, and that I may have to resort to trying for a male heir.
But Iama is like fire. Sterile, and everytime she thinks of someone, including Korey, the thought bubble spontaneously combusts.
“Not my fault, I hate everyone I’m forced to grow up with.” ~Iama
So now I have no choice. I have to find a male slob.
“Oh Korey, there you are. I’m sorry I cheated on you with the man of my dreams, but I realized you are more man that he will ever be and I want you to forgive me of my cheating ways.” ~Iama
“Only because he got boolproped into insanity.” ~Korey
“Are you going to accept my apology or not?!” ~Iama
“Of course I will. I understand that there is a lot of pressure on you since you are growing up soon, so it’s ok if you have a moment of weakness. I love you for who you are, and I even left, uh, where I was to come back and make things right with my loving wife!” ~Korey
“Oh good!” ~Iama
“See, Sabrina?! He accepted me back with open arms. I KNOW about Linda and he picked me over her. It’s because I’m pretty, and better than anything you set my husband up with! I win this time!” ~Iama
Look at her, standing there staring at me with that smug look on her face. He only took you back because he has six nice points! Still doesn’t mean you two are comfortable with sleeping in the same bed just yet!
“It’s only a matter of time!” ~Iama
Fine, you know what? Go clean up your husband’s mess.
“What is this?! What did Korey DO in here?! I hate cleaning! Can’t I just hire a maid?” ~Iama
No Iama, now do your duties as his wife. Bwa ha ha.
“Uh, she’s as ugly over there as she is here! And she needs a tan!” ~Iama
Bite me, Iama. Besides, how can you really spy on me through your neighbor’s stone wall? You confuse me.
“Alright, time for my birthday! I’m going to have the biggest blowout money can buy! Sabrina wants to save money for the house, but that broad isn’t here, and she can’t tell me what to do with the money I make!” ~Iama
“Dear, Sabrina’s in the house.” ~Korey
“…She’s right behind me, isn’t she?” ~Iama
“Hey mom! Why is dad at Iama’s birthday party? I thought he couldn’t see her again.” ~Ulysses
“Yeah, well, Iama doesn’t have many friends, so I let it slip this one time.” ~Sabrina
“And then… I walked in on my mom… and she was KISSING ANOTHER MAN! My family is so messed up and my life is OVER!” ~Bayonette
“Is she still crying about that incident?” ~Robin
“Yeah, she hasn’t stopped crying since I got here.” ~Michelle
Note Korey back there giving Karl a makeover. I was just tired of seeing his bad makeup.
“Dammit Silhouette! Why did you have to invite HER here?!” ~Iama
“Look mom, I have friends too, you know.” ~Silhouette
“Happy fricking birthday to me then!” ~Iama
“I suddenly have a want to move down to Florida, and not just to visit Miami either!” ~Iama
So Iama grew up sorta well. Not platinum because she apparently doesn’t know how to do her job right. But we will see, since she is sort of close to a promotion.
Meanwhile, the girls were finally old enough to go to college. Originally, I wasn’t going to send them away, and try to get started on the second generation as soon as possible.
But Iama and Korey suck at their jobs, so the house is still pretty poor, and isn’t getting any richer anytime soon. And the money for returning back from college sounded pretty nice, so a quick trip to college didn’t sound that hard.
“Woo, this bubble tower was a great idea! Maybe Iama was right in buying this thing!” ~Sabrina
“Mom? What are you doing? Don’t you have a legacy to run right now?” ~Ulysses
“Oh crap, you are right Ulysses, sorry about that distraction.” ~Sabrina
“ALRIGHT! I grew up well! Where’s the party at?!” ~Silhouette
Silhouette is, not just mine, but apparently everyone else’s favorite too. So she is the heiress, and we will now be focusing on her throughout college.
“I grew up well too! Where’s the cattle at?!” ~Bayonette
Well, at least Silhouette had SOME fashion sense.
“I’ve never danced a step in my life! this isn’t as easy as I thought it was!” ~Bayonette
Sorry about that Bayonette. We never had money for a stereo. Blame your parents.
Meanwhile, Silhouette was out enjoying campus life.
“This is a campus?” ~Silhouette
Well, when she wasn’t busy partying at the lake.
“Woo! PAR-TAY!” ~Silhouette
“Is this girl serious? It’s just fruit punch!” ~Townie
Yeah, well, rated T, what can you do.
“Look! I’m hungry! Get out of my way, Magnus! Like you are going to even buy anything anyway!” ~Silhouette
“Awesome! A dance sphere! Now this is really a party!” ~Silhouette
You do know that you are still at the gym, right?
“Yeah, so?” ~Silhouette
We aren’t here to pary, now get on an excercise machine that won’t throw you off in ten seconds and actually work on some body skill!
Meanwhile, back at the dorm:
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?!” ~Bayonette
I gave you a cowboy hat! See, now you match your outfit!
“Why can’t you just take me to a clothing store, like H&M and let me get a better outfit!” ~Bayonette
Eh, I’m too lazy to take you all the way back to town for an outfit. I think you look fine, dear!
This is what happens when you party all night, Silhouette. Now get out of your pancakes and go to class.
“Hey, Bayonette, I was thinkiny that you are really pretty! And um, I was wondering if you would like to go out this Saturday or something!” ~Skylar
“Pfft, fat chance, you tattooed freak.” ~Bayonette
“Well then, who needs you, you rodeo dork.” ~Skylar
For someone who is really nice, Bayonette doesn’t like people being nice to her. I think she’s mad because she’s being make to wear that hat.
“Wow, she’s so pretty. I wonder if I kiss her, she will wake up and go out with me!” ~Remington
Back OFF you weirdo! Who comes into a girl’s dorm that they don’t know while they are sleeping anyway?
Anyway, back to the party. You all know Joel Lawson, Komei’s college clone!
“*Snicker* I spiked the fruit punch.” ~Joel
You probably did.
“Hey, it’s my brother from another mother! How’s it going, Joel?!” ~Dawson
“Is he really your brother?” ~Silhouette
“No, we just have the same hair. He’s the nerd of the secret society. Watch out for him, he likes to stalk people.” ~Joel
“Check it out! I’m so awesome, I can crush a plastic cup to my forehead!” ~Silhouette
I don’t think you crushed it dear, I think you just forced it into your head. Great, now my heiress has brain damage.
“Hey, I did crush the cup a bit. Look, it’s bent!” ~Silhouette
Not by a whole lot. Do you know how far that cup sunk into your head, Silhouette?! A lot more than that!
“What’s going on? All I did was come in for a nap! Is it because I threw that crushed cup into the lake? I can’t help it, the drink was spiked! I can’t control my actions at parties!” ~Silhouette
“Don’t worry ma’am. It’s not because you litter. It’s something far more important!” ~Demi
“Thanks for getting me in the Secret Society, Joel! This is great!” ~Silhouette
“You are very welcome, Silhouette!” ~Joel
“Why, I never noticed how handsome your chiseled features are under this bathroom light!” ~Silhouette
She’s rolling wants for dates. I can see where this is going.
“And your chest, it’s so strong and manly! Aren’t you a manly chest?! Yes you are!” ~Silhouette
“Um… thanks?” ~Joel
I’m thinking the same thing, Joel.
“Um, Joel, do you mind? I’m ‘busy’ now.” ~Silhouette
“It’s ok, I’ll just close my eyes.” ~Joel
Um…
Another reason I like Silhouette, while everyone else was making a mess, she goes out of her way to clean up. Her mother’s neatness with her father’s kindness, she’s great.
“Where is everyone going?” ~Silhouette
“We are all going upstairs to put our plates down in the bathroom. You really think we have time to wash dishes?” ~Lexie
You people are lazy.
“Hey there, hot stuff… *heavy breathing*… here, let me buy you a drink.” ~Hunter
Uuuuh…
“Glad you could make it for our date, Joel!” ~Silhouette
“Me too! Hey, scoot over, let me sit down!” ~Joel
“Are you kidding?! I want the outer seat!” ~Silhouette
“It’s ok, I’ll just jump over you!” ~Joel
“Ow! You punched me in the face!” ~Silhouette
“Um… are you ready to order?” ~Waitress
“Sure, and can I have another glass of water too? Joel knocked mine out of my hand just now.” ~Silhouette
After the date, Silhouette went to class, only to come back thinking she was still dining.
“But I am, aren’t I? …Hey, where did the restaurant go?!” ~Silhouette
“Welcome to the soroity! You will make a great addition to our group!” ~Mandy
“I know, I’m great, aren’t I?!” ~Dawsone
“I don’t think they are talking about you, you dolt!” ~Silhouette
“Look, you little cowgirl nerd! No one turns down Skylar Menon and gets away with it! We are enemies from here on out!” ~Skylar
Um, Silhouette? Do you think you should help your sister? She’s getting bullied and you are stronger than her!
“She’s a grown woman, she can take care of herself.” ~Silhouette
But Silhouette-
“Look, I’m only here to eat and sleep and I got a party to be at in a couple of hours. She can handle it.” ~Silhouette
Yep, you are your father’s child, aren’t you?
“Now THIS is what I call a party! Hanging out, dancing with all my friends, this is the life!” ~Silhouette
“Ugh, why did you make me STOP in the middle of the floor for an ASSIGNMENT?!” ~Silhouette
You forgot one important thing, Silhouette. This is COLLEGE. Your 4.0 isn’g going to keep itself up.
“Hey guys, can I join you?!” ~Bayonette
“Oh great. She’s here.” ~Skylar
“I think my dance moves have gotten better since the last time I did this!” ~Bayonette
“Eh, hate to break this to you, but no, they aren’t.” ~Forrest
“Well, what do you expect, Forrest, from a girl that was raised by a stupid poor slob!” ~Skylar
“My father is NOT a stupid poor slob! FIGHT’S ON!” ~Bayonette
“Ow, that HURT!” ~Bayonette
“That’s what you get for trying to attack the Great Skylar.” ~Skylar
“Dude, not cool. You beat up a chick.” ~Nery
“Curse that stupid Skylar. I’ll show him, I’ll have my REVENGE!” ~Bayonette
You do that, Bayonette. In the meantime…
Hey, Silhouette! What are you eating today?
“Uh, today, I got a finger, and some mini bags in here!” ~Silhouette
Um, I don’t think that’s going to be good on your digestive system…
“So, what do you think is the right answer, Silhouette? Papaya, or figs?” ~Dawson
Joel was right, this kid is a creepy stalker nerd. You have your OWN room, Dawson, and it has a desk in it! And can’t you see, she’s SLEEPING!
“Hello again, sexy chest! You are a sexy chest, YES YOU ARE!” ~Silhouette
Uh, that’s good and all, Silhouette, but I think you need to get your pinky finger out of his stomach, ok?
“What are YOU doing here?!” ~Bayonette
“Well, you have a desk, and I’m going to use it, whether you like it or not.” ~Skylar
“I don’t think so this time! HIYAH!” ~Bayonette
“Why are you hugging me-WHOA!” ~Skylar
“HAH! That’s what you GET for beating me up and using my stuff! Now get out of my room! And out from under my desk!” ~Bayonette
“Ow!” ~Skylar
And since then, he hasn’t said a thing to her! You go, Bayonette!
“Check me out! I’m moonwalking!” ~Silhouette
“Sigh, I’m sure. If only Michael Jackson could see you now…” ~Break Dancer
Check it out, it’s Silhouette and the Party People, and their first concert at the Battle of the Bands Building! We got Silhouette on mic, Kolby on guitar, Dib on bass, and Colonel on drums… and a couple of groupies on stage playing red hands…
“Do you two mind?! We are trying to do a show here!” ~Colonel
“Oh Joel, you are the man for me! Sigh, if only this legacy will let me marry you. Then again, if things keep going the way they are…” ~Silhouette
“Hey, what’s going on over there? It’s Silhouette and my brother from another mother!” ~Dawson
Dawson, go do something else! For once!
“Ooh, I like this spot right here!” ~Dawson
Do I HAVE to kill you, Dawson?!
Finally, Silhouette graduated, all while holding a 4.0 all eight semesters on her own. She was part of a sorority, she was in the secret society, and all while partying non-stop. She even made way more than 15 friends here. Easy peasy.
On her junior year, she rolled wealth again though. So great, another gold digger.
“Too bad you aren’t growing up with me, sis! I’m really going to miss you back home!” ~Silhouette
“Are you kidding?! I’m glad to be the spare! I don’t have to live with that woman I call mother again! But good luck for you on that!” ~Bayonette
“Good luck to you too! And don’t kill that Skylar kid, she’s not worth it!” ~Silhouette
“Don’t worry about me!” ~Bayonette
“I’m real proud of you, baby girl!” ~Korey
“Thanks dad. I had fun in college! I partied, made friends, and even got a boyfriend!” ~Silhouette
“Well you might as well forget that guy, because you know what legacy you are in!” ~Korey
“I know dad… can I at least say goodbye to him?” ~Silhouette
“Sure, go ahead!” ~Korey
So Silhouette finally left college and said goodbye to Joel.
She left Bayonette back in the dorm, practicing her smustle in the privacy of the bathroom.
“The next time they see me, I will be the dance champion! Check out this new move! I call it, Riding The Horse!” ~Bayonette
I promise, when you finally graduate, you will have your own little cattle ranch.
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE TREE HOUSE:
“Ah, another morning, another day. I like living here with Sabrina!” ~Whitney
“Hey, who are all you women and what are you doing in our house? And why do you all smell like corn and vinegar?!” ~Whitney
“We live here now! Sabrina invited us in to stay!” ~Linda
“SABRINA!!” ~Whitney
“What are all these women doing in the tree house?!” ~Whitney
“They are only temporary until I find the male counterpart I’ve spent weeks looking for! I’m actually on my way out now to find the new one that should be showing up right about now!” ~Sabrina
“Hi, my name is Marion… something.” ~Marion
ARRRGH, RAFLABLERAGARAR$#%&!!!
“Why can’t anything go RIGHT for me!?! JUST FOR ONCE!” ~Sabrina
I finally gave up on this whole, “searching around for a new slob, taking it in, and starting the process over” idea. It took four hours alone just to find Marion! So desparete times call for desparete measures, in order to save my legacy.
Meet the NPC and townie maker. Available wherever boolprop is used. Since I’m not using it on my legacy lot, I’m not calling it cheating.
I just like to think of it as making the game get off its butt and create a freaking male slob already!
“I have a theory on why we are all women. It’s the pollution! It’s messing up our DNA and we are all born women!” ~Tara
“A world full of women! A world run by women! I like the sound of that!” ~Brittany
“Both of you shut up! I can’t here myself think!” ~Sabrina
“After all, I hope this works once he’s off this lot…” ~Sabrina
So a male slob is finally made, with a little assistance by me. I only used the item once and the first one it gave me I kept without messing with him in any way. So he’s pretty much 100% Maxis. I think that it’s not cool that I had to actually step in and do it myself though.
So who is the new male slob in town? Even though he’s made now, will he even show up downtown or will I have to go on a massive manhunt for this one like I did with Marion? What will happen in generation two now that the first generation is over?!
Stay tuned next time to the Slobacy, the only place where you want to find the messiest, nastiest man on the planet!
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