Guess what?! It’s time for another episode of the SLOBACY! In this episode: Who farted?! Well, we all know.
Anyway, this is the beginning of the second generation, which was only possible because I forced the game to make me a male slob through boolprop. It’s not cheating if it’s the game’s fault.
“WOO! The graphics on this television for The Sims 3 are just as bad as they are on my laptop! WOO!” ~Sabrina
Eh, first off, back at the Tree House, you all remember my plan to let in as many slob women as possible until I got a male. And you all remember that it failed. Well, I’m not giving up on trying that. I mean, it’s still worth a shot, right? Even though I have a male now, I still have to look for a husband for the third generation eventually.
Of course, as big as the Tree House is, I only built it to have two rooms; one for me, and one for Whitney. Then we have W.D, my dog, and her cat, Sugar. But at the rate these slob women were piling in the house, it was getting a bit crowded.
I had to let Whitney’s cat, Sugar go.
“SAY WHAT NOW?!” ~Sugar
You really think I’m giving my own dog up for adoption, Sugar? You crazy! But don’t worry, I’ll adopt you right back as soon as I figure out where to put all these women.
“WAH! Sabrina gave up my own cat for adoption! I hate you, Sabrina! I really do!” ~Whitney
I know, I’m a mean person. But I promise to get your cat back! It’s all for the sake of this darn legacy!
“Look, Whitney. It’s temporary. The cat takes a small vacation, and we find a home for all these women. Because until I fight a male slob, they are stuck here!” ~Sabrina
So while me and Whitney fight over ethics and why it was wrong of me to ship off her cat, let’s go over to the Collins household.
As determined before, our heiress to the, er, throne, is Silhouette! Welcome back home, Silhouette!
“It’s good to be home! I guess.” ~Silhouette
She was sent to college only so she could come back with the 20k, because the family is dirt poor and I was tired of watching them live in a box. She came back rolling wants to woohoo and marry a rich sim. I’m locking in the woohoo, but the second one? Dream on, sister.
As you can see, the house got an improvement. Not the best thing I’ve ever built.
Besides, I’m not that creative when it comes to things like houses. And I’m an art major. Sob.
“So, dear, you went to college?” ~Korey
“Uh, yeah dad. That’s why I wasn’t here for four years!” ~Silhouette
“Well, I’m glad you are back, baby girl!” ~Korey
“Look, mom! I learned this in college!” ~Silhouette
“Great. I send her to a university, and she comes back dancing. Nice to see all my money was wasted.” ~Iama
Well, at least Korey is happy she’s home.
“He will make a great friend, I just know it.” ~Korey
I don’t know Korey, that’s Komei. He has about as many nice points as a rabid cat.
By the way, Korey has few friends, and with his birthday coming up, I sent him out to find friends. Or at least nice people to take to his birthday bash.
“How would you like to come to my birthday?” ~Korey
“Really? I’m invited to someone’s house?! Wow, no one has invited me anywhere since Kennedy Cox filed that restraining order on me!” ~Komei
“Urm…” ~Korey
“I’ll be there!” ~Komei
“BEST BUDS FOREVER!” ~Korey
“FOREVER AND EVER! YAY!” ~Komei
While he was out looking for friends, the new male slob finally showed up! Korey! Get off the candy machine and greet him already!
“OK, it’s fine, I think I broke the machine anyway.” ~Korey
Of course, the slob had to leave a big brown mess on the floor. Congrats, Korey. Only you would find another color to the puddle.
“You look like a good guy! How would you like to come to my birthday party tomorrow?! I know this girl you would go great with!” ~Korey
“You really want me to come to your birthday? Wow, and I’ve only been in town for a few hours! This is great. I’m already making friends! Consider me there!” ~Slob
Afterwards, I was so happy that we finally can move on to the second generation, I let Korey enter a cooking contest!
“I made these in the microwave! Who says you can’t cook a fish in a microwave without cleaning it hasn’t tried my blackened catfish!” ~Korey
“*Yawn* Fish is so last year. Pork chops is where it’s at!” ~Rude Cook Girl
“Great, the slob next to me made the same thing. This is so embarrassing.” ~Cook Girl
“I hope these pork chops will be good. I never made anything edible in my life!” ~Tara
“I made Baked Alaska and forgot to set it on fire! I’m such a klutz!” ~Professor Woman
“This picture is great! Who ever painted it is great with oils!” ~Korey
“I think I’ll give the ribbon to these pork chops instead of the pretty, sparkly plate next to it. After all, pork chops are where it’s at!” ~Judge
“See, I told you!” ~Cool Girl
Then again, the judge probably caught salmonella from the fish. It’s been in Korey’s inventory for three weeks, made in a microwave… yeah.
For Korey’s birthday, I got him a toy bench. After all, he has a gold badge in it for some reason, so I might as well use it to my advantage!
“Yay, work for no money! This is exactly what I wanted for my birthday!” ~Korey
So the party started and Komei instantly took over the kitchen, knocked some old ladies down the stairs, and ate everything in the fridge.
“Who’s that? He’s hot!” ~Silhouette
Of course you would be attracted to your college boyfriend’s identical twin.
“You look so much like Joel! You two much be related!” ~Silhouette
“Who?” ~Komei
“You are right, dear! He could be my long lost father that I have been searching years for!” ~Joel
“Oh crap.” ~Komei
Note the loser is in his graduation robes at Korey’s birthday. You aren’t ever going to graduate Joel, just give it up.
“Hey, Korey! You didn’t tell me your daughter was such a great person! I like her!” ~Komei
“Yeah. Well, don’t forget that you are already married to someone, Komei!” ~Sabrina
“Yeah. Well, Silhouette is hotter!” ~Komei
“Oh, and let’s not forget Korey’s wife. The second the party started she bolted out the door for work. Driven there by ANOTHER one of Komei’s clones.
“Shouldn’t you be in there supporting him on his big day?” ~Komei’s illegitimate son probably
“Peh, I got money to make. Let’s get out of here, and step on it.” ~Iama
And then, the star of the show finally arrived. After I had to call him again. Like he was doing something important the first time.
“Finally, the man I have picked out for my daughter’s hand in marriage is finally here! Go on, Silhouette, introduce yourself!” ~Korey
Now you may be wondering why I keep talking about the Komei clones that have been in the game so far. Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now…
“Hello there! My name is Simon Brown! Pleasure sim extraordinaire! I’m also one of Komei’s many unloved orphan children!” ~Simon
Oh lord, and this one is actually going to be in the legacy.
“Alright! I get to marry THAT?! This is the greatest day of my life!” ~Simon
“I hate you.” ~Joel
“I can’t believe there are so many of these kids that look like me here today, Korey! Ha ha! Anyway, don’t tell my current wife, about them! Ha ha ha!” ~Komei
“But I’m serious, Korey. Don’t you DARE tell her. I’ll snap your little neck.” ~Komei
OK, Komei. Calm down. It’s not like they even know who your wife is anyway.
“Wow, Korey! You know TRIPLETS?! Who would have known they exist in the sims 2 world!” ~Rebecca
“What’s wrong with your face?” ~Korey
“Oh that? My face always falls apart when I’m surprised!” ~Rebecca
“What about that guy? Is he one of Komei’s clones too?” ~Simon
Uh, well not really. Russ has some different features, but it’s a close call, isn’t it?!
GAH, ENOUGH WITH THE LOLLYGAGGING AROUND, TIME FOR BIRTHDAY.
“I would like to thank everyone who helped me get this far and I wish everyone was as happy as I have been for the past several years. Except the time my wife cheated on me. That sucked.” ~Korey
SHUT UP, KOREY! BLOWOUTTHECANDLES.
“Ew, she’s hideous.” ~Korey
KOREY!!!
And then, just as Korey took a breat to blow out his cake, Joel took the opportunity to kill the man that was marrying his college sweetheart!
“WHAT?! NO!! And after I spent THREE WEEKS getting Simon! JOEL, YOU IDIOT!!!” ~Sabrina
It’s OK, Simon survived.
“Check it out, I’m still blonde.” ~Korey
Ew, Korey, no.
For some reason, Komei and all his clones wondered into the bathroom with Silhouette, so I took the time to have her scope the room and see which one she likes better!
“That Komei is one smoking stud!” ~Silhouette
Oh, well. And no, you can’t have him, Silhouette. You better be paying attention to Simon over there.
“Hey, Neditkyli! That’s uncool! I was about to use that while they were in here, you know!” ~Silhouette
“I’m… UUUUURG, sorry, it’s just… HUUURGH, too many… BARRRF, Komei clones…” ~Neditkyli
“Hey, thank your dad for inviting me to the party. And I just have to say, you are really cute!” ~Simon
“You really think I’m cute?! That’s so nice, Simon! Call me sometime!” ~Silhouette
And so, even though she had a hard time tearing herself from Komei all day, she and Simon really hit it off.
Silhouette’s LTW is to be a world class ballet dancer, but she inherited her mother’s ability to being unable to find her job of choice, so until then, she’s a Broadway star, and that automatically gives her the plastic surgery makeover thing.
Like you are ever going to use it, Silhouette.
Also, Korey is high enough in the gamer career to bring this baby home! Iama also got the surgery thing that comes with her job, but everyone has one of those, I’m sure.
Besides, this thing gives you $5 every few seconds! This is great! But really, how does your own pinball machine make you money if it’s sitting in the backyard and you are the only one playing with it?
I’ve really let Iama get slack on her LTW by the way, and since she can die any day now, I’m forcing her to sit down every day and study.
“Like I really want to do this on the last week of my life. I don’t understand all this crap anyway!” ~Iama
I don’t care what you don’t understand. If you don’t die platinum, so help me…
Iama brings home this little freak everyday, Michelle Somethingoranother. It’s like this kid has nothing else to do with her time than to follow her co-worker’s family everywhere they go or something.
“I just really want to play red hands with everyone!” ~Michelle
Go home.
Of course, she isn’t the only one that won’t go home. Oncor here has been showing up everyday since Korey’s birthday. He just walks in whenever he wants. But I tolerate him because he’s one of my sims from another of my families in town and he actually helps clean up around the house and stuff.
Blah blah blah, I let a day slide, Silhouette, but you need to start flirting with Simon before you start getting too old for kids.
*FART*
“Well, he reminds me of my Joel, and he’s the spitting image of that sexy Komei guy, so sure, I’ll give him a shot.” ~Silhouette
“Oh Simon, I love that you swatted your fart stink away so that I wouldn’t have to smell it!” ~Silhouette
“Anything for a pretty lady such as yourself!” ~Simon
I don’t understand it either.
“Silhouette, you have your own room, and you have a WAY better bed than I do! Why do you HAVE to insist on sleeping in mine?!” ~Iama
It’s like, she can’t make it two more steps to her own bedroom or something.
“Then again, Korey is in here.
Do you really enjoy stinking up your daughter’s comforter, Korey?!
“Well, I also like to come in here and count the flies swarming around my face.” ~Korey
OUT.
Any luck with the dance career yet?
“Nope, just the oceanography one that has shown up seven times so far.” ~Silhouette
They are really desperate for a tank cleaner, aren’t they?!
“I’m finally three promotions away from that LTW, I can almost taste it! It’s a great day!” ~Iama
“Hi, everyone! I’m back!” ~Michelle
“Spoke too soon.” ~Iama
“Seriously kid, you look too young to be a doctor. Don’t you have schoolwork to be doing right now?” ~Korey
“Not really. I don’t go to school, just so I can come home and be with you guys!” ~Michelle
“Yay, a diving board! Now I can enjoy this oversized expensive pool you have indulged us with!” ~Iama
HEY, don’t you, I don’t know, NEED TO BE STUDYING RIGHT NOW?! You useless fortune sim!
“Hey, I haven’t talked to you in days! How have you been?!” ~Iama
“Hello! Oh that’s right, you are my wife! Haven’t seen you in a while!” ~Korey
So they finally reunited in the bathroom after about a week of ignoring each other. Sigh.”
“I’m in love with you all over again!” ~Korey
“That’s nice, because I’m not.” ~Iama
Another reason I hate Iama.
So after forever, Silhouette finally convinced Simon to move in with her and be with her.
“I sure hope you are rich, because you are going to have to cater to my every need since I am a fortune sim!” ~Silhouette
“Fourteen bucks?! Are you mad?!” ~Silhouette
“Hey, I had to bum that money from Komei to make it over here! Be happy that I had money!” ~Simon
I guess I should introduce Simon now. He’s a pleasure sim (duh) with the stats of 0/6/0/5/4, just one more nice point than Komei. His LTW is to have 50 first dates, PFFT. You wish.
“Ugh, I hate the guy they are making that sweet Silhouette marry! He stinks, he’s rude, and he farts everyone! I don’t come over everyday to see him!” ~Oncor
Go outside already, Oncor! Play the pinball machine for hours on end! We need your money!
“Aw man, that was my last quarter!” ~Oncor
“You know what, we should get together and make an official Stalker’s club! What do you think?!” ~Michelle
“I’m WAY ahead of you, sister!” ~Oncor
“You want to play red hands now?” ~Michelle
“No.” ~Oncor
“OK, Simon. You have been here two days. My father wants to see his grandkids as soon as possible, so here, have this ring that I found in the jewelery section at Dollar General!” ~Silhouette
“Oh Silhouette! I love it! I will treasure it always, even though the band just snapped on my big fat finger!” ~Simon
That’s because you put it on the wrong finger, you idiot!
“This is going to be a perfect family, I can see it now!” ~Korey
“You are going down you lazy baboon!” ~Oncor
“You can’t do anything! You wannabe!” ~Simon
“Dad, make Oncor go home already!” ~Silhouette
“Wow, Iama was really pretty back in the day! I want to grow up and be just like her!” ~Michelle
IT’S ONE IN THE MORNING! GET OUT!
Still no luck?
“No. Can’t I just stick with the Broadway star job I got? It’s still a really nice job!” ~Silhouette
If it’s not filling out your LTW, then no, you can’t. Check again tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Simon, like all slobs, works in the Slacker field, where he brought home, sigh, her.
“Hi! I’m Elise! I’m pretty and I don’t fart as much. Aren’t I just a wonderful sim?!” ~Elise
RAAAHHH NOOO AGKRHEGLJDSAOJGKNFDSOS!!!!
“Work sucked. That chance card sucked. I’m tired and she’s making me study. Today can’t get any worse.” ~Iama
“Hello everyone! I’m home!” ~Michelle
“DAMMIT!” ~Iama
“I don’t understand how CPR lessons are going to make me a better gamer, Iama.” ~Korey
“LOOK, if you want to beat those trolls in the dungeons, you have to learn how to keep someone alive on an operating table! That’s common sense!” ~Iama
“NO!!! LIVE!! LIVE, DAMN YOU! *smack smack*” ~Korey
“I ask myself everyday why I married a buffoon.” ~Iama
Meanwhile, Korey is attached to the couch, if I don’t keep him busy with something. And he watches the same movie every time.
“Hey, I love Mime Cat! One day, I’m going to get me a Himalayan just like that!” ~Korey
“Hey, Silhouette! You are really a great person! Just like a sister to me! Come here, sister, and give me a hug!” ~Michelle
“Uh, no. Shoo, go home already!” ~Silhouette
“But you are family to me! We are inseparable!” ~Michelle
“And you are family to me! Call me big brother!” ~Oncor
Oh, come ON guys! Go away!
“Now that I’m finally best friends with them, I can finally get what I came here for!” ~Oncor
“Oncor, it’s four in the morning. What are you going back here?!” ~Silhouette
“Well, I hate your fiancé, so… I’m stealing your paper!” ~Oncor
“WHAT! How DARE you, you JERK! And after all the putting up with you we had to do!” ~Silhouette
“If that’s the way you are going to act, don’t come back here anymore! You loser!” ~Silhouette
And Oncor never returned. Too bad he didn’t take Michelle with him.
OK, OK, too much rambling, I promise to cut back on it. Anyway, TIME FOR MARRIAGE PLS
Now I did a lot of preparation for this wedding, getting the right amount for nice chairs, the alter, and making sure to get the right amount for each chair. There should be… *counts with fingers* ten guests.
So what’s THIS LOSER doing here?!
“I wondered in from the street, and saw there was going to be a wedding! Will there be cake?” ~Sullivan
Great, I need to sell something again for another chair!
“You know, this is wedding, Simon. I think that maybe it would be a good idea that you dress nicely for this, don’t you?” ~Silhouette
“So this is why you called me out here? I was wondering why you were wearing that.” ~Simon
Note the pool back there. I had to sell a lot of it away so that Silhouette could have a half decent wedding.
Then I noticed Seke talking to the diving board and thought something was wrong.
Then I saw it. It was my simself’s son, Ulysses, standing on the water like he thought he was Jesus or something.
“Well, you are the sim god around here, mom!” ~Ulysses
Yes, Ulysses. Try and get me struck by lightning, will you?!
I got worried Ulysses would get stuck in the pool or something, so I moved him out on dry land to be safe, and thought, who better to marry the lucky couple than my half naked sim son?!
“Alright, you two ready to get married and have a happy, wonderful, and golden life together?!” ~Ulysses
“Nah, I’m just messing with you. You are both going to get fat and unhappy.” ~Ulysses
“Oh wow, our priest is so hot and has the best abs I’ve ever seen!” ~Silhouette
“Whoa, lady! Are you trying to get the crap beaten out of me? Now let’s all take hands across the aisle and chant Kumbaya as these two say their vows or whatever.” ~Ulysses
“Oh, Silhouette! Nice ta tas!” ~Simon
“Do you WANT me to knock your lights out?” ~Silhouette
“Oh COME ON people! Let’s get the ball moving already! Damn! I got to wrap this up before it gets too long!” ~Sabrina
“OK, everyone! We are married! You can all go home now!” ~Silhouette
“About time!” ~Inferna
“Tell me about it.” ~Sabrina
After the marriage, my sim son then proceeded to SWIM through the crowds like he was friggin’ Aquaman or something.
“RAWR, IMMA SHARK.” ~Ulysses
“MOOOOM! There isn’t a ladder here in the floor! How do you think I was going to be able to get out of her?!” ~Ulysses
Maybe it’s my fault I moved him? I don’t know. Either way, Ulysses, you are now the dumbest sim alive.
“Uncle Ulysses ruined this party!” ~Arron
He may be right, because the party dropped in ranking a little bit. Sigh. Oh well then.
And after the wedding party was over, he then proceeded to swim through the concrete on the way home. I sure hope he gets fixed on his own lot.
Anyway, time to wrap this up. Seriously. Next time, there will be babies, death, and all around sadness. So stay tuned next time for the next chapter of the Slobacy!
But first: BACK AT THE TREE HOUSE:
“Woo! that Tara Curtain is one fine fox!” ~Linda
Well, besides that. I let Linda and Brittany get new outfits, just because they are my favorites.
“Great, one of them is in my bed. Doesn’t matter, I can’t sleep tonight anyway.” ~Whitney
“Oh, Sugar. Please come home soon…” ~Whitney
“OK, now I’m really tired. And, oh great, I can’t sleep in my bed, and there is someone in Sabrina’s! And this one stinks!” ~Whitney
“ANOTHER ONE?! Come on, Sabrina! Get with the program here! These girls have go to go!” ~Whitney
OK, OK, I heard you the first time! And yeah, now that they are sleeping in my bed all stinky and stuff, they got to go. But what am I going to do with a bunch of slobs?
…Hm, I know!
“Hey, Tara, Marion, and Elise! Can you guys come with me to the back yard for a second? I need to show you something!” ~Sabrina
“Can I come?” ~Brittany
“No, you stay here in case Sugar comes home.” ~Sabrina
“I need you guys to check out the newest room of the lot. All three of you go in and look around, and don’t mind the smell of lighter fluid.” ~Sabrina
“Hey, Sabrina. Have you seen my Tara anywhere lately? I haven’t seen her all day!” ~Linda
“Don’t worry, Linda! Tara is in the backyard with Marion and Elise, lying next to the pond, soaking up the rays.” ~Sabrina
Yeah, they are lying in the backyard alright.
And this may help my problem of finding more slobs, who knows. Anyway, tune in next time!
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