Welcome back to the slobacy, where everyone farts, burps, and never picks up their own trash. We finally have overcome a little snag, and now we are getting the second generation underway.
In the last chapter, Simon was found, moved in and married to Silhouette by a man without a shirt on.
But before we go to the Collin’s household, we first make a pit stop at the Tree House, where in the last chapter, Marion, Tara, and Elise, three useless female slobs, were done away with while Linda and Brittany were at work.
“Oh, boo hoo! My Tara! My sweet, poor Tara!” ~Linda
“You two had a thing going on?! Oh man! I hope you two didn’t do anything in MY bed!” ~Whitney
“So, Whitney! How does it feel to be sorta, kinda, my co-host today?” ~Sabrina
“Co-host? I just came in here to tell you to get my cat back from the shelter. Three of the girls are gone now, and I just want my cat, Sugar, back!” ~Whitney
“Look, Whitney! I’ll get Sugar back as soon as I can! But there has been a little bit of a problem recently…” ~Sabrina
Oh yes, I also gave my best friend’s cat up to help with the overcrowding of slobs in our house. I would go ahead and get her cat back now, but there has been one slight obstacle…
To find out what that obstacle is, we go to the Collin’s house.
“Woo! I was such a hottie back in my day! This is the greatest painting EVER!” ~Iama
Two chapters ago, Iama, the founder, got old and hasn’t completed her LTW. At this rate, she never will either.
Korey Collins became an elder last chapter, and has since then been sorta useless. He uses his gold badge in toy making to craft things for his unborn grandchildren.
“Haha! Toy store, eat your heart out!” ~Korey
And if I don’t keep an eye on him, he’ll wonder into the living room and watch TV, and most of the time, he watches Mime Cat for some reason.
“I don’t know what my son-in-law turned it to, but this isn’t Mime Cat. This is crap.” ~Korey
JEEZ, Iama! You just got over food poisoning two chapters ago! Are you trying to get yourself killed?
“Actually, yes, I am! Anything to keep you from getting a platinum grave and making you happy!” ~Iama
She’s still furious with me. Then again, she needs to stop spying on me with the telescope. That may help a bit.
In a feeble attempt to get her promoted in time to her LTW before her death in a few days, I made her get a thinking cap, and as soon as she put it on, she poofed back down to a green aspiration bar, messing it up on her.
“AHH! I think I blew this out out and it just sucked my brain cells out!” ~Iama
I hate you, Iama.
“Dude! Mime Cat again? This is the third time you watched this since I got here!” ~George
“I can’t help it! This is the greatest movie ever! Mimes are so cool!” ~Korey
Three woohoos later, the next in like to have a child, Silhouette, is finally pregnant. Thank GOD, I was about to say that she wasn’t pregnant and the lullaby song lied to me. She never threw up, and she didn’t pop until about 35 hours after conceiving. Yes, I was counting!
But whatever, generation 3 is on it’s way!
Ah yes, you remember Michelle, the family stalker that comes home with Iama everyday!
“Who?” ~Simon
“What do you mean, “WHO”?! I’m like family around here, you dumb baffoon!” ~Michelle
If, by family, you mean annoying little brat that won’t leave until three in the morning after chasing and following everyone around the house begging for hugs and games of red hands, then yes, you are family!
“One of these days, I’m going to get me one of those cats. That is the greatest cat in the world.” ~Korey
No, you aren’t, Korey. You have about two weeks left to live. You will forget and continue to fart and burp and lounge around until you are dead.
“You know what? You are right! If I don’t get one now, I may never will! Silhouette! Fetch me the phone! I have a call to make!” ~Korey
“Hello? Sim City Shelter? Yes, I was wondering of you had any cats for sale? OK, do you have any Himalayan cats? You just got one the other day?! That’s great, send her over!” ~Korey
Wait a minute, there was a Himalayan? …Oh no.
“Well, hello there, little Sugar! I’m your new master! We are going to be best friends, forever and ever!” ~Korey
SUGAR?! Oh man, Whitney isn’t going to like this…
“Where am I?! You aren’t Whitney!” ~Sugar
“OK kitty, do a trick! Do that funny thing the kitty on TV does!” ~Korey
“Look, you old fart. I don’t do ‘tricks’. I sit in people’s laps and look pretty. If you think I’m goign to do a trick for you just for the ‘lulz’, then I’m-Oh look a pretty feather!” ~Sugar
So Korey got a hold of Whitney’s cat. She won’t be happy with me when she hears this.
Meanwhile, back in the house, Silhouette decided to chop all her hair off for the baby, but when she gets ready for bed, she puts her hair back on. Stupid pregnancy, causing her to take her hair off!
“What? It was a wig in the first place!” ~Silhouette
Wig or no wig, she spend most of the time running around in her PJs anyway. And that’s what she wore to labor, in the bathroom, trying to clean the toilet after the five times I told her to, which naturally she would cancel and ignore.
“How can I worry about toilet scum when my womb feels like it’s pressing out a bowling ball?!” ~Silhouette
“Hey, Silhouette! You really need to clean up your messes in the bathroom when you are done in here!” ~Korey
“That’s not a mess, dad. That’s a baby!” ~Silhouette
The second she had that baby, she dropped it and went to the pinball machine. I can see now she is going to make a great mother.
Meet Marionette! Her name just came off the top of my head, and ends with -ette like her mother’s. I promise I won’t make that the theme of naming the girls like this.
She has her father’s, well, everything.
“There, I fed the crying baby. Now get over there and eat!” ~Silhouette
“Babies don’t eat cat food, Silhouette! Now I, on the other hand, have prepared the baby a wholesome meal of fish and rice with a zest of lemon!” ~Simon
You both are idiots.
“Come on, Sugar! You see the pets on television?! They are playing fetch, a simple trick that I’m sure you can do!” ~Korey
“Look, I DON’T do tricks. How many times can I stress this out to you, old man?! And I’m a cat, stop trying to throw that feather teaser across the room, I’m not bringing it back!” ~Sugar
“Aw, what’s wrong with this cat? Is she broken? Why won’t she do the tricks like on TV?!” ~Korey
You never owned a cat in your life, have you, Korey? It’s not going to do anything, stop trying.
Anyway, time for spare time! Because at the rate they take care of Marionette, they are going to need a back up child.
“Who’s Marionette again?” ~Simon
“…Hello Sabrina.” ~Sugar
“Oh, Sugar! It’s you! I’m sorry about you being adopted out before I could get you back, but I promise everything will be set right!” ~Sabrina
“It better be. Because if I die here with the old people and the farts and the bratty baby, I’m going to haunt you. You better get me back to Whitney right now!” ~Sugar
But I can’t focus on the cat right now though because Iama is about three days til death, and she is barely getting her LTW.
“Hey! I’m a specialist now! What more do you want from me?!” ~Iama
“Hello, my dear family! Who missed me?!” ~Michelle
“Oh, dear God.” ~Iama
In a feeble attempt to keep her happy, I had to keep her up all night to get some skills for a promotion. Two more promotions, is that too much to ask?!
OH GOD, THE THINGS THAT BABY HAS JUST SEEN!
“Oh, the nightmares! OH GOD, the NIGHTMARES!” ~Marionette
“It’s OK, little baby! No need to look so shocked. It’s just a green bottle.” ~Simon
“One day, Whitney, I shall return to you…” ~Sugar
Yes, yes. Keep reminding me, will you?
“MEMORES~ALL ALONE ON THE PAVEMENT…” ~Sugar
“YES! I smacked a big brick with a hammer and made a small brick and then painted a face on it.” ~Korey
I think it would be more cost efficient if you just bought a smaller brick, but whatever, you know what you are doing, Korey.
She made it up to surgeon, but I knew she was doomed to never get that last promotion.
“Heh heh. I’m not perma-plat so she won’t get my nice platinum grave! I will die miserable! I win! Bwa ha ha!” ~Iama
“GAH, I hate you so much, Iama! And STOP spying on me! JEEZ!” ~Sabrina
“Why don’t you just hurry up and drop dead already?!” ~Sabrina
“Well, that’s what I’m here for.” ~Death
“Hmmm… Good riddance to you then, Iama.” ~Sabrina
I really didn’t care. I walked out that door without so much as a care for her death. The last thing Iama did while she was alive was get cussed out by me. I’m happy with it.
“What do you mean I died platinum? How can this be?! I tried my hardest to make it as hard for Sabrina as possible!” ~Iama
“Look, I don’t know. All I know is that I’m here to give you a margarita, and walk you to the other side where three different cruises await you!” ~Death
“Well in that case, let’s get out of here!” ~Iama
“Wait, who was that woman again?” ~Simon
So Iama died amongst the stink of the kitchen and in the presence of an idiot who probably had no idea of who she was.
“Oh, NO! Mama Iama is dead! Now how will I ever get back to this house without her?!” ~Michelle
Don’t know, don’t care. I’m glad you are gone.
R.I.P. Iama. Or don’t.
She died platinum, but didn’t finish her LTW to become Chief of Staff. She was an annoying wealth sim and I’m actually glad she’s dead. Bye bye.
BEHOLD! The only reason she was platinum at the time of her death:
“Hi! I’m a car that cost more than $6K! I cost money this family didn’t have!” ~The Car
So yes, I went out of my way to sell some things to please one last want from Iama. I win, Iama.
Kore! Why aren’t you upset?! Haven’t you noticed something really important to you is missing?!
“OHMAHGAWD you are right! POLICE! My cat Sugar RAN AWAY!” ~Korey
WHAT?! You got to be KIDDING me! She ran away at the exact same time Iama died. Was the shock of her death too much on the little kitty?! I don’t know, but I hope they find her soon. I don’t want to have to go looking around myself for a missing cat.
But with death comes the hope of new life, as Marionette’s birthday is finally here! It was a little rushed because everyone was miserable over the death of Iama, and I don’t care that much for baby birthdays anyway.
Yep, she’s her father’s alright.
her stats are 10/3/2/10/10, making her pretty much her Aunt Bayonette. Another nice neat freak. Yay.
Finally. Since Iama died, the curse of not being able to get her LTW job was finally lifted off of Silhouette, and she is now a dancer.
“And I start off as a ballroom dancer! Yay!” ~Silhouette
And I know you are pregnant and all now, Silhouette, but go to work anyway. We could really use some cash.
“Someone on this lot is happy enough for you to get a lamp! So congradulations, here is a treasure from me!” ~Nikki
How? I thought in order to get a lamp, someone had to be platinum for you to even get a chance for one! Everyone here is miserable! Nikki, you fail.
“Whoa, a genie.” ~Korey
“That’s right, Master! And I grant you three wishes. What does your heart desire?” ~Genie
“Can you bring my wife back from the dead?” ~Korey
“Uh, no, the sim player has declared that “Once that $#&% woman is dead, she stays dead.” I’m not going to break that rule.” ~Genie
“Well, that’s not every nice of Sabrina.” ~Korey
“Hmm, what does the wish ‘give peace of mind’ do?” ~Korey
“That makes you perma-platinum.” ~Genie
“Yeah boi! That one!” ~Korey
So now Korey is perma-plat and I don’t have to worry about him.
And the next day, after I had given hope on seeing Sugar again, Ambika brought her home.
“I was almost back home with my Whitney again when this broad sighted me and tempted me with tuna. And now I’m back in this crap-hole. What a life.” ~Sugar
Er, welcome back.
“Oh, no! My water broke in the pool but I didn’t know because I was in the water. Now I’m in labor! Someone help me!” ~Silhouette
Silhouette didn’t get help, because nearby sims are usless when it comes to labor and fire, and she had baby Roulette, another sim I had to force a name out for. I actually had a good girl’s name and forgot it. Damn. I also forgot a close-up picture of Roulette, probably because I didn’t care. Oh well.
Marionette, the older child, is a bad child. She didn’t want to get potty trained, or taught to walk. It’s a miracle I got away with teaching her to talk as it was.
“Come on, Marionette. Just once I would like for you to actually get it in the toilet this time!” ~Simon
“I dun’ WANNA! I wanna POOP MY PANTS! Oops, I already did! now I stink, daddy! I HATE YOU!” ~Marionette
I don’t usually potty train sims, but when I do, I don’t have a problem with it. With Marionette, it’s just arguing with the computer screen. I can’t do anything with her.
“Come on, baby girl. Let’s learn to walk!” ~Simon
“I dun’ WANNA! I HATE YOU, DADDY, I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!” ~Marionette
She took the smart milk and then didn’t want any interaction with anyone whatsoever for the next three hours! I think I’m going to hate this kid.
“Jeez, look at this kitchen! No wonder the cat ran away from you guys!” ~Ambika
“We had a cat?” ~Simon
“Seriously, Silhouette. You have your own bedroom with a better bed! How many more times are you going to come in here and sleep in mine and your mother’s bed?!” ~Korey
Meanwhile, Sugar dreams about the brat that wasn’t there before she returned.
“Dammit Simon! I need that stove! Did you have to put her right in front of it?!” ~Silhouette
“It’s the only place she would take a bottle!” ~Simon
“Hee hee, suckers. I hate both of you!” ~Marionette
So much for her ten nice points.
Uh, EXCUSE ME, Simon. Where do you think you are going?
“I’m going to work with my wife. I have a job too, you know.” ~Simon
And leave the babies home alone on the kitchen floor? I DON’T THINK SO.
Call Beth right now, or you won’t go anywhere!
Beth comes and goes straight for the pinball machine. I’d say that is pretty slack of her, but she’s making me money, so I don’t care.
MEANWHILE, out in the front yard, Ganondorf CONTINUES to target the family and steal their newspapers. I swear, he has to have some sort of collection of invisible newspapers somewhere at Hyrule Castle stashed under his bed or something.
I’ve given up a long time ago on cribs for Marionette and Roulette. No one can seem to go upstairs and find the stupid things, and they just drop the babies on the floor in the kitchen amongst the mess.
Luckily, Marionette will no longer have to sleep in the cat bed, because she finally gets a birthday and grows up out of the mess and into a room I build off to the side for her.
“YAY, I’m miserable!” ~Marionette
“Aw, that poor child! She looks like Komei!” ~Ambika
Meanwhile, Korey doesn’t care. he’s going to go sit on the couch, probably watch some more Mime Cat.
Speaking of cats:
“That kitchen stinks, everything here emits a green colored odor, and no one can remember to feed me on time. I hate this house.” ~Sugar
I’m tired of the constant stink too, and so I hired a maid. Hey, Remington. The 70’s called. They want that shirt back. Actually, they don’t. It’s that stupid looking.
Seriously, do all male maids go around with their shirts half buttoned with a Liberace hairdo? There has to be some kind of dress code for housekeeping against that.
AND SO HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF FOR POOR ROULETTE. Only this time with the maid and her naked sagging old grandpa.
Remington didn’t make an attempt to leave, he stood there in that kitchen watching and pretending to be surprised that he was looking at Korey’s naked butt. But I swear he was enjoying it.
“Why does she keep squirming and screaming bloody murder? What did you do to this poor child, sis?” ~Bayonette
“I don’t know, but I think it has something to do with dad and the overly dressed maid guy.” ~Silhouette
Later that day she had her birthday and grew up still looking like her father. I think the only thing she will get from her mother is her blonde hair.
“Look at me! I’m adorable! I’m cure and perky and my hair is already nice! I’m a little treasure!” ~Roulette
Eh, we will see. I’ve seen genes do bad things to good babies. her personality is 6/4/9/6/4. She’s more like her mother with her dad’s little mean streak.
Ten neat points, huh?!
“I can’t help it! I pooped my pants again! My dad didn’t teach me how to use the toilet! I hate him!” ~Marionette
Don’t blame your stupid father for your stubborn self.
The next day, Korey finally bit it, and passed on to the other side.
“Why is there only half of you and why are you on my dresser?” ~Korey
“Don’t worry about that. Right now, just come with me.” ~Death
“Wait, Death! Can I take my bed with me so that my daughter won’t be able to sleep on it anymore?!” ~Korey
“Sigh, no. Just come back later and cheer for it if it’s still there.” ~Death
“Oh, Korey! I hated this house, but while I was here, I had come to like you a bit! You actually cared about me and tried to teach me tricks! I’m going to miss you so much!” ~Sugar
“NO!! MY father-in-law is DEAD! How will I ever get through the day now?! He was my best friend in the WHOLE WORLD!” ~Simon
“OK, Mr. Drama Queen. It’s been a while, even I’m not going to cry that long over him. Now take me home.” ~Sugar
R.I.P. Korey Collins.
You never got your LTW of marrying off six kids (PFFT… HAHAHAHAHA) but you were perma-plat through the genie and now get to join your wife on the other side, if she still will have anything to do with you over there.
“Mom, why are we throwing grandpa a funeral if we didn’t throw grandma one?” ~Marionette
“Well, we didn’t have this nice little funeral hall a while back. Sabrina didn’t let us build one until Korey died. He was her favorite. Besides, now all my dad’s friends can come mourn him here and it will be nice for them!” ~Silhouette
“But mom, the problem is that not a lot of came. Just Aunt Bayonette.” ~Marionette
“Just say your condolences so we can go.” ~Silhouette
“So, who were these people again?” ~Simon
“Wow, you really are an idiot, aren’t you?! I’m glad I didn’t have to marry you!” ~Bayonette
“Hey, over here! I’m late for school, can I leave now?!” ~Marionette
Sigh, fine, get out of here. It’s not like it’s the funeral of the only person who ever actually played with you.
Iama and Korey were put in the tomb next door and set up on stage foundations to avoid reckless teenagers who would want to smash them, because I know they are coming…
Meanwhile, Silhouette is pregnant again. And while Marionette was the better child for her, Roulette is the pain in her side this time.
“Come on, Roulette! Just once! You are never going to learn how to poop in the toilet if you keep acting like this!” ~Silhouette
“I dun’ WANNA! I wanna PLAY! Then complain how it’s not fun! I HATE YOU, MOMMY!” ~Roulette
“Silhouette, get out of that bathroom and help take care of your child! She pooped all over the place here! She stinks! Silhouette!” ~Bayonette
“I stink! I pooped myself and no one would help me! I hate everyone!” ~Roulette
*cries out of frustration*
“Hm, maybe I can watch these wall flowers long enough and it will turn into a neon flamingo!” ~Marionette
No. After that, go do your homework for once. Wherever you put it.
“Oh no, Sugar! I’m going into labor with my last child! Quick! Fetch my husband!” ~Silhouette
“Fetch him your damn self, do I look like a dog?” ~Sugar
So the last child, a boy, was born. I named him Barnabas Collins, after a suggestion from my dad. he’s named after a vampire from an old goth soap opera called Dark Shadows that my dad used to watch, and he’s his favorite vampire.
“Keep screaming all you want, kid. They aren’t coming down anything soon to change YOUR diaper.” ~Roulette
As usual, he was taken to the kitchen and dumped off. It will probably be a couple days before someone realizes he smells bad.
“I hate her. When ever I get back to Whitney, I’m going to claw her in her sleep.” ~Sugar
Sugar likes to dream of me a lot. Probably thinking of ways to kill me for this. But I had an idea. I would make sure I got to the birthday of Roulette that was coming up, and I would pay money to get Sugar from Silhouette. It was a pretty good idea. At the time.
So THERE is where you have been putting your homework! What is WRONG with you?!
“I’m thinking that since grandpa liked me so much, he will come and do it for me!” ~Marionette
You wish. Now go stare at the wall flowers until your fun is up and come back to do your homework!
“No, I think I will wait for grandpa to show up. It’s only a couple hours until sundown.” ~Marionette
She is the most hard headed child I have ever seen. She had cancelled out my commands at least five times! Fine, fail if you want.
The next day was Roulette’s birthday, and I was greeted with Ganondorf doing his usual rounds.
Dammit Ganondorf, don’t you have a LIFE?!
“Hey, little missy! This the way to the party?!” ~Arron
“Uh, no, this is the way to the funeral hall. Why is everyone come over here anyway?!” ~Marionette
*@&@%*KAGLKJDJKGKHGAJK I think it’s that friggin’ door. Sims are attracted to money, so the most expensive door is the one they seem to go to first. I guess that means all sims have a little wealth aspiration in them.
Toddler party, yadda yadda. My simself didn’t come because I, for some reason that I wasn’t keeping up with, hate both Silhouette and Simon. I’m downright furious with Simon too. I bet it has something to do with that damn telescope…
So I needed to figure out another way to get the cat back.
“That poor child, she looks just like her father!” ~Arron
“Poor kid.” ~Bayonette
“Whoa, she’s hideous!” ~Zim
“My poor BABY!” ~Silhouette
“WOO! That’s my girl!” ~Simon
“Yay, I grew up well!” ~Roulette
“Aw, I passed out! Passing out is bad!” ~Roulette
FRICKING FRACKING *@&$^!! She realized she was exhausted and went to put the cake down in the FUNERAL HALL and passed out outside the door. That’s IT, that door has got to go.
Then to make the party worse, the cat was starving, and I was relying on work to feed her like it usually does when the food bar gets too low. But then the game realized, hey, that bar is solid red, LET’S GIVE OUT A CHANCE CARD THAT THE PLAYER WILL FAIL AND THEN THE FIRE THE CAT SO THAT IT STARVES AT THE HOUSE!
“Why didn’t you just click ignore?! You know you were going to fail that one!! I HATE you.” ~Sugar
*$&@#%SGSDFADSYORUJK
“Aw, poor kitty! Did you have a bad day, Sugar?” ~Silhouette
“Yeah, and do you think you can give me a treat right quick? You know, before my solid red bar gets me hauled back to the shelter?” ~Sugar
“Wait, what? You want me to feed my dad’s cat? But it’s not my cat!” ~Silhouette
SILHOUETTE, YOU ASS BRICK!!!
No matter how many times I clicked on Feed Treat, she would cancel right away. I knew then and there that cat was getting taken from them.
Sigh, as if right on cue.
“You are terrible pet keepers! You don’t deserve your cat! How dare you think work will feed it for you if she was just going to get fired that day! And don’t tell me you didn’t think she was going to get fired because of a chance card!” ~Cop
“Uh, wait. We had a cat?” ~Simon
“Wee!! Whitney, here I come!” ~Sugar
So there is a happy ending after all. For the cat. I don’t know how many points this cat has docked from my legacy so far though.
Barnabas also grew up just as the party was ending. Everyone walked right out before Simon blew out his candles. Poor little Barnabas.
“Father? Is that you? I can’t tell because I inherited your BIG FAT HEAD!” ~Barnabas
So with that I end this long chapter and leave you with this:
You are going to be one of those narcoleptics, aren’t you?!
Next time: How will the kids grow up? Will they ever get the house clean? Will Marionette do her homework? Will I get rid of the funeral hall door? Will Ganondorf ever kiss off?! Find out next time on the next chapter of the Slobacy!
But before we go:
“Oh, Sugar. I miss you everyday while you are gone. If only you could hear me and return to me…” ~Whitney
“Hey Whitney, there you are! Guess who I adopted back!” ~Sabrina
“GASP! SUGAR!” ~Whitney
“Oh Whitney! I’ve seen horrible things! Too horrible to describe!” ~Sugar
“It’s OK, little kitty. I’m here now!” ~Whitney
“Yeah, sorry about that, Whitney. There was an adoption to someone else, and I tried to get her back and then they hated me and wouldn’t let me over and it was all kinds of crap, let me tell you about it.” ~Sabrina
“Don’t worry about it. All I care about now is that she’s back home with me! Thanks for getting her back, even though you were the ass in the first place that sent her away!” ~Whitney
“I can’t let my best friend down like that! You are so welcome!” ~Sabrina
And so the Tree House had the whole family back again. And there we have Sugar sharpening her claws, probably so she can jump on my face later on tonight while I’m sleeping.
“I can’t believe Tara is dead. And I think Sabrina is hiding something from me. I won’t forgive her if she is…” ~Linda
Meanwhile, Linda is past the grievance and is starting to get angry. Uh oh. Anyway, this is the longest chapter so far, and I kinda hope they don’t get longer. Ick. Anyway, until next time!
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