“I am such a proud great-grandfather and uncle! I’m so happy that for once I don’t want to go kill Other-Andrew.” ~Andrew
“I feel like I am on an episode of I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant. Only instead, I knew I was pregnant, but that’s what makes it all awkward.” ~Barnabas
“What the f… more children?! WHY WON’T I EVER DIE” ~Remington
Let’s see, last chapter, Anna and Barnabas had children, and of course this means more crap for our little man maid to take care of (get it? Crap?! Because it’s a crappy pun *dies*)
“Aw, sweet little alien baby, you are nothing like your grumpy papa Barnabas, are you? So sweet, so SWEET, ickle bickie wittle baybee, who’s a icky wicky booboo baybee” ~Anna
“OMG get the *@#& away from me you crazy bitch!” ~Zenith
Zenith quickly became the family favorite ( I see how it is…), probably because he’s so quiet and good, and rarely makes a fuss at all.
However, Courtney, the actual heiress, won’t stop crying for crap.
“LE WAH” ~Courtney
“SHE ISN’T EVEN MY CHILD” ~Barnabas
Doesn’t matter that they have their own little cute cribs either. Like every baby before them, they have called the kitchen floor their home sweet home.
“There you go little alien baby! I’m sure you are just at home with the bottles and the stink fumes! They are green, just like you!” ~Gina
I really miss the cleaning bot *resists the urge to turn it back on*
Also, Remington spends so much time out of the kitchen now, most likely ignoring the pile of trash that is slowly building up in their since the babies where born.
Is making that bed really that necessary, Remington?
“It was my maid senses, they tingled! They told me that the invisible sheets haven’t even been made since they made the baby!” ~Remington
OMG GO HOME
In other news, Anna started her second LTW by going to work in the entertainment business, which isn’t really all that important, but I figured I should at least mention it in case she comes in one day in a knight outfit or something as to not shock everyone into a confusion.
“Wait, who is this guy now?” ~Andrew
“I think he’s my dad or something…” ~Anna
Ah, Zion, another elder birthday, go figure you would get old before you got interesting 
“Oh, my poor elder back!” ~Zion
“Yay, now you know my PAIN every morning!” ~Gina
Now the happy couple are ONE once more.
“WOOO, go Zion! You are old, and I’m still alive! Go ME!” ~Andrew
Go away Andrew, the birthday ended an hour ago.
“Daaannngg, maybe it was all that drinking I did at the bar with Zion just now, but you are lookin’ foxy fine gurlfrieeen” ~Andrew
“I only have to hit him in the head with this once… no Steffi, not again… *continues to clean nervously* ” ~Steffi
Typical night for Andrew really.
So is this -_-
“Keep staring at the ceiling… don’t look over at daddy… don’t look over at daddy… I can survive this diaper rash, just don’t cry or look over at daddy…” ~Courtney
“TOO LATE, I’M DEAD” ~Zenith
“Um, WHY is your kid in my son’s crib, Andrew?” ~Barnabas
“Nothing really, just need you to watch her while I go make out with my dates wife.” ~Andrew
“Oh, you can kiss something, alright…” ~Barnabas
*continues to avoid looking at Andrew out of sheer trauma* ~Courtney and Zenith
*Fart* ~Andrew
“Did you… just fart… in my room… WITH MY SON IN HERE?” ~Barnabas
“Yeah, haha. Why? I thought you thought my farts where funn-” ~Andrew
“GET OUT.” ~Barnabas
“Hey Barnabas, I’ve come to get Courtney and change her dia-” ~Gina
“NO I SAID GET OUT, ALL OF YOU!! HISSS!” ~Barnabas
“Jeez Barnabas, I’m only trying to hel-“~Gina
“OUUUUTTT!!” ~Barnabas
Sounds like someone is still a little overprotective…
“My beeed… how could you get rid of my beeeds… they were all my beeeeds…” ~Roulette
Oh please don’t tell me you are on this crap still.
Why can’t you be a calm and quiet ghost like Iama or something?
See, pretty innocent for once.
“I wish I could smack you in the nose with this stick dog, maybe you’d go away then. But you’re a ghost like me… it won’t have an effect… sigh…” ~Iama
Oh, never mind then.
I think I took this photo because it was Andrew’s halfway point. I don’t remember.
“I’m really tired of all these pointless dates… how about just you and me do something together instead, hot stuff…” ~Andrew
*slams crystal ball into Andrew’s head* “DAMMIT, I did it AGAIN, I’M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL” *hides in the bushes* ~Steffi
Um, ok then…
“I don’t see what everyone’s problem is! The house smells just fine to me…” ~Gina
It would for you, wouldn’t it.
“Oh my it’s cousin Scarlet! I want Scarlet to hold me daddy!” ~Zenith
“No, NO ONE is holding my baby! BLEH! Why are all you freaks doing back in the house again anyway?!”~Barnabas
Well, it’s a birthday, for both the babies. That and I felt like giving the Collins the flu again YAY FOR ME
First up is little baby Courtney, whom I was nervous about seeing as she’s the sole heir at the moment so-
“OH MY GOD ALL OF YOU GET OUT AND DON’T THINK ABOUT GOING NEAR MY BABY THAT I PLACED ON THE CROWDED FLOOR HISS CAPS LOCK” ~Barnabas
“Oh, would you, like, look at that, the alien baby is laying in the middle of the crowded floor, all up in my way and everything!” ~Andrew
*Impaled in the face* ~Courtney
“Mmm, cake” ~Andrew
Well that’s nice, way to waste the cake D:<
Let’s try this again.
“Like, where’s my Anna? I saw her whisper something in that Regina girl’s ear then she just walked out! I thought she was going to stay and watch her daughter grow up!” ~Andrew
Says the father that just flung his daughter into the ceiling.
*Gives Marionette the knowing-don’t-tell-him-or-else stare* ~Regina
“Omg she’ll kill me D;” ~Marionette
I think Courtney is adorable! And she has the pointy ears so what more do I want in an heir really *decides to not even bother with a spare if Andrew dies*
“Oh crap, this room stinks so bad that I stopped wanting to go fool around with Regina in the bedroom!” ~Anna
“What?!” ~Andrew
“I mean OMG IT STINKS IN HERE!” ~Anna
Anyway, Courtney was given hair and I’d say she’s cute, but it’s obvious that she’s going to have a lot of her father in her genetics. Just saying.
Her personaility points are 2/6/8/10/8. YES. She has TWO WHOLE neat points. I have no idea where the hell they came from! And EIGHT active points?! Am I even sure she’s a Collins?!
“Oh Barnabas, you are just so fine… please notice me over here fawning for you…” ~Sabrina
“Aren’t you supposed to be locked up somewhere right now?” ~Barnabas
Why, I just have to share the love, and the flu, you know this, Barnabas!
“Happy birt-” ~Anna
“NO GET AWAY FROM MY BABY ANNA, I MEAN IT” ~Barnabas
“…I was only watching him grow up, Barnabas…” ~Anna
“FIRE?! HISS, NO! Fire BAD! Fire will NEVER hurt my son! HISS!” ~Barnabas
OMG WTF TAKE TWO
Needless to say, Barnabas couldn’t even grow up his own child. So finally, he let Anna have a try at it.
“This isn’t fair, he’s my son. I should get to grow him up *grumble grumble*” ~Barnabas
Of course, then Anna failed as well.
“Oh well, in the floor you go little bab- wait, why is he stuck to me like this? Is this normal in alien babies?!” ~Anna
“My, you two are terrible at this. If I was growing up the kid, I bet I would have gotten it right…” ~Gina
UGH, all of you just get out of the dining room!
In the end, Andrew was the one that managed to get the kid to grow up. No surprise there I guess.
Zenith’s points are 0/3/9/10/6. Seriously, where did those active points come from? They sure as hell aren’t a Collin’s factor!
“Oh thank god you are teaching the kids skills, that’s just TOO HARD for me D:” ~Andrew
“Well better me than you because it will be a cold day in hell before you people ever touch my son again :D” ~Barnabas
Since Steffi went MIA after trying to kill Andrew I was just so tired of seeing her on my lot, Andrew turned to the wishing well to get his romances out of the way.
So far so good… I guess
Nice of Andrew to fall in love with Random Placeholder Man. Go figure Andrew would have chemistry on the weirdest looking guy in town.
*smothered sounding kissy noises* ~Andrew and RPM
Meanwhile slowly but surely, the household decided that the babies needed to be picked up and shuffled between the cribs over and over again, signifying that the glitch that about got Scarlet taken by the social worker was slowly creeping back into the household.
“Come on baby girl, daddy knows this isn’t your crib! Let’s go upstairs and set you in the nice pink crib, what do you say?!” ~Andrew
“Say, isn’t this the line to hold Courtney?” ~Barnabas
“Yes but, I swear she was just RIGHT HERE in this crib! Where’s my BABY?!” ~Anna
Someone will probably die before this is over with.
“I think you will like this crib, Zenith. Night night buddy! … Ok, let’s try the crib upstairs instead. It’s pink!” ~Zion
“Oh come on, it’s our turn to hold the baby! Get out of our way Zion, MOVE!” ~The Andrews
“I’M STILL WONDERING WHERE MY BABY WENT D:” ~Anna
I, was not only pissed off at this growing problem, but was also getting really angry with the flu that had been bouncing around the Collin’s house since Anna was a teenager, and decided to try to kill two birds with one stone.
I locked all but the healthy sims-which of course was only Barnabas- up in one of the bedrooms, and quarantined them not only from the clean sims, but from the babies as well. I think eventually they realized that they couldn’t hold the babies 24/7 and finally focused on other things to occupy their time in isolation.
“They really are a cute couple together, don’t you think dear?” ~Zion
“Yeah, but they are in no way cuter than we are, Zion. We were the cutest couple to ever live in this house, no exceptions.” ~Gina
I would say it is very creepy to watch the younger couple sleep, but in all seriousness, they really had nothing else to do in that room.
“Hmm, I really don’t think this bed qualifies as art…” ~Gina
“Like, REALLY, Gina? You got to hover over us and do that while I’m sleeping? Please go away for a little while!” ~Andrew
Being the sole caretaker for the babies for a little bit really sucks when it happens to be Barnabas, who not only can only come out at night, but when the babies REALLY need him, Mr. Snuggles-And-Love will ignore the kids crying, and will resort to his 5 year old self.
“I’m a fireman! Woo woo! Coming to save the sky castles from the great big fires! Yay!” ~Barnabas
You are so useless.
Pretty much the only time I make Barnabas work with the kids in the day is if they are really starving or something, other than that, they can take care of themselves. I’m glad, because they would die in a heartbeat if not.
“Wook Wemington! I make the poopies all by mahself!” ~Courtney
“And you think I’m going to clean it up, think again you little diaper rash!” ~Remington
Oh come on, Remington, it’s your fricking job in the first place!
“Did you know that I graduated from college, Andrew?” ~Anna
“That’s wonderful to hear, Anna my dear!” ~Andrew
“Did you know I’m cheating on you?” ~Andrew
“Hahaha! Oh Andrew, you are such a comedian!” ~Anna
“Wait, why am I still teaching you how to do this again? I thought I already got this out of the way…” ~Barnabas
“What are you talking about daddy? I is an alien! I make poopie out of my EYES” ~Zenith
“…And that is why I’m teaching you to use your bottom, son.” ~Barnabas
“That’s right baby, get in that tub! I’m about to rock your world!” ~Andrew
“Oh Andrew! When did you get so manly and daring like this?!” ~Anna
Being locked up in the room for a few days starts having it’s effect on the sick sims.
Guess I’m glad I let out Andrew to run off to work.
Well, they got to find a way to entertain themselves somehow.
“Why am I the one that has to repair the clock? Isn’t this supposed to be Andrew’s job anyway? Yeah, he’s still sick, but can’t we just wait on him to get back out before we go messing with this thing?” ~Barnabas
“Oh dammit, it broke! That’s not cool! Andrew was the one that was supposed to break this!” ~Barnabas
I don’t understand the grandfather clock item. It’s super up-the-butt expensive, yet every time it needs maintenance, it breaks. The biggest waste of money I have seen yet.
“Oh son! How long have you been on the staircase?” ~Barnabas
“5 hours! I’ve been waiting to get to the potty, but there’s a staircase in my way! It’s not like I can roll down the stairs or something!” ~Zenith
Meanwhile, almost everyone is platinum in the quarantine room except Andrew and of course Zion, who drops really fast because I freaking refuse to buy him a bowling lane >:\
“I don’t understand it, Anna! My life is a wreak! Nothing is fun, my job sucks, and no one loves me because I’m a boring person!” ~Zion
Actually, in all honesty, everyone’s insanity is starting to suffer.
“So then I was like ‘puh’lease, if I wanted to get with you I would have looked under a rock’ or something, and he was like ‘well wutever give me yo’ number’ and I was like ‘nooo because oh mah gawd really’ and then we made out anyway.” ~Andrew
*Quiet, understanding silence* ~Social bunny
“If I stay in here any longer with this nut job I’m going to drill my brains out with the power drill, I swear it Zion!” ~Gina
*Finds peace with happy clouds* ~Zion
But Gina was the first to get healthy, so she was set free and quickly bolted out the door, eager to assist Barnabas in his daily more like nightly struggle with the babies.
“Good lord, that child stinks worse than any Collins I have ever met in my LIFE!” ~Gina
Well what do you expect, he’s been sitting in that diaper for 6 hours, get to it!
“Um, I change my mind, I vote that I just go to bed instead. Who’s all with me? I am, let’s just do that instead.” ~Gina
Oh sure, Gina, if you want a painful bloody death instead, go right ahead 😀
“Hey, Anna. Guess who I am! Bleh bleh! I want to snuggle babies but only between the hours of 7am and 7pm!” ~Andrew
“HAHA! Barnabas! That’s so funny!” ~Anna
Speaking of meanly making fun of Barnabas, he’s still pretty much taking care of the babies, despite Gina was supposed to be helping.
“Did you really just have a whole bunch of trash fall out from your skirt just now?” ~Barnabas
“Yeah, and?” ~Charlotte
“…Nothing, just grab a baby and let’s shuffle them between the cribs for a few hours, ok?” ~Barnabas
The following morning, Zion finally got to be let out, and the second he did, he got his damn wish for a bowling lane *stuck up in his inventory of course* and Gina snuck back in at some point because I hate her.
Finally, Anna did so as well, and following her was the older Andrew.
The only one still left was her husband Andrew, who was so stupid apparently that he refused to get better.
“How come the door is always locked for me! This is totally not fair! I haven’t seen my boyfriend RPM in several days, I know he’s looking for me! This is, like, totally ruining my life right now!” ~Andrew
Well, get better then and we will see about you continuing your extramarital affairs, ok?!
In the meantime, Andrew is still stuck in the quarantine room with only his mind to keep him company.
*Silent, motionless stare* ~Social bunny
I have no idea how he can sleep so peacefully with that watching him…
And so we end this chapter with everyone in the house going back to keeping the babies up 24/7 with there constant wants to irritate the children.
“Must hold baby… must hold baby… must hold baby…” ~Anna and Gina
“OH MY GOD, SHUT UP *sticks head under pillow*” ~Courtney
“Hey guys, I got a request for you all. GO AWAY.” ~Courtney
“What the crap?! There’s a line for holding the baby?! I’m NEVER going to get to hold the baby now! … I wonder where Zenith is…” ~Zion
So will the stupid adults end up killing the babies, or get them taken away?! Will Andrew even get better? Will Barnabas just die in the sun with a traumatized baby clinched in his arms? Find out next time.
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