The Slobacy Chapter 5.6: The Googycoo Bully

“OH GOD I’M DYING!  I KNEW TWO FIRE DISPLAYS WERE A TERRIBLE IDEA!” ~Marion

Well that was random and out of the blue.  One minute the slob girls are doing what they do best (which couldn’t have been much of anything) and the next thing you know, the Nightlife fire displays start setting everything on fire.

“Oh, the fire brigade came too late to save her!  This wasn’t part of my diabolical plan at all!” ~Linda

“ANNA!  What are you DOING here, of all days for you to walk by!  We have to get you out of here before you end up dying as well!  …AND TAKE ME WITH YOU!” ~Sabrina

Note that even though nothing provoked the other fire display, it caught the ground on fire as well.  After doing nothing for a whole week.

“Oh NO!  The house!  What do I do?!  AAHH NO!” ~Unknown slob Jane

“*flips through clipboard frantically*  Great, I’m going to need a LOT more reports…” ~Death

Sure enough, dear, you are really standing a little too close to that fire, I don’t think you want your pretty red hair to burn-

Well, can’t say I didn’t warn her.

“Dammit, she’s dying, she’s dying!  Gah, I knew I shouldn’t have left the first time!” ~Fire fighter

And while they were failing to put out the red head, Marion caught fire.  AGAIN.

“I failed, Death.  I let two women die today, and now I’m never going to get that promotion to fire chief.” ~Fire fighter

“Aw, don’t worry.  You just gave me a crap ton of work!  I think if you were working for me, I would have promoted you!”~ Death

“Too bad Sabrina stinks though.” ~Death

Really, you ALL stink just as much as I do, stop pinning it all on me!

“Now that we got all of that under control, WTF are you doing out of your cell!  Get back in there and suffer!” ~Linda

“Okie dokie!” ~Sabrina

“Oh wow, a window!” ~Anna

“Hey, didn’t Sabrina tell you to go home the first time?  Why are you still here, you are going to get yourself killed!” ~Death

That was actually pretty random and had nothing to do with anything.  But it happened.  And there you go.

I’M GOING BACK TO THE MAIN LEGACY NOW

“If I steal that magic ball away from her, then I would, like, have complete control over my dates!  I could date anyone I want, at any time I want!  None of this random, crappy townie stuff!” ~Andrew

“Yeah, you try taking my crystal ball away from me.  The last person who tried that got stabbed through the face with my sponge!” ~Steffi

It was time for a family outing, and so Anna and Andrew took their daughter and cousin Zenith out to Googycoo’s, the greatest kids restaurant they won’t go to!

“Mmm, so glad I didn’t take a bath today!  I smell great!”

“I have to disagree with you dad! Ew!” ~Courtney

“Honey, I told you that you needed to take a bath, because we were going to a nice public restaurant today!” ~Anna

“Good, because I’m STARVING.” ~Andrew

“Didn’t hear a word I said, did you?” ~Anna

While Anna was getting the table, Zenith met one of his own for the first time.

“Hey, you see that lady in green that just walked by, Courtney?  That’s my older sister!” ~Zenith

“Oh cool!” ~Courtney

“She’s so pretty!” ~Courtney

“They are so stinky!” ~Ned

I know they are.

“So, what do you kids want?” ~Andrew

“I was thinking about something that sounds expensive, but I won’t eat it because it’s not chicken nuggets.  A typical kid choice.” ~Courtney

“Who’s that, daddy?  One of your dates friends?” ~Courtney

“Actually, I have no idea who this man is.  Excuse me sir?  Can we help you?” ~Andrew

“UM, sir?!  That’s his food!” ~Andrew

“Not anymore.” ~Richard

“Ow, that kinda hurts…” ~Zenith

“…Did that really just happen, Andrew?  Did that man just take Zenith’s food and put it on another table for no reason?! What a prick!” ~Anna

“No, it’s ok.  I wasn’t going to eat it anyway, I like water just fine guys!  Yum!  Don’t worry about it!” ~Zenith

“No, this isn’t ok!  How dare that man just take things from children like that!  Children that aren’t his!  Wait until we tell Zenith’s father about this crap!  You know what, no, I’m going over there right now and getting this straightened out myself!” ~Andrew

“No, no!  Don’t worry about it!  I can drink water, water is fine!  Mmm, delicious!  … Don’t get us kicked out of Googycoo’s because of me ;_;” ~Zenith

“Listen here buster!  That was my little friend’s dinner, and how dare you just come waltzing over here and taking it while he was still eating it!  What is wrong with you?!” ~Andrew

“Oh no, daddy’s going to get us thrown out of the restaurant!  Boo hoo!” ~Courtney

“Well you see dude, he’s an alien.  So it’s no big deal!  Besides, didn’t you hear the boy?  He said water is just fine.  Now why don’t you just go back over there to your little family, and let me do my business…” ~Richard

“How DARE YOU!  You xeno-racist prick!  You think he can survive off of water, then HERE, YOU SURVIVE OFF WATER!  How do you like THAT?!” ~Andrew

“Aw man, I came over here at the wrong time.” ~Kennedy

“Ok honey, I think you’ve made your point.  Let’s go sit back down before you get us kicked out of Googycoo’s.” ~Anna

“NO.  I’m nipping this in the butt once and for all.  He won’t be messing with children or aliens, or alien children, ever again!” ~Andrew

“WOO!  He’s got a lot of guts to take on a man of the military like that!” ~Kennedy

True,  Andrew shouldn’t really have a chance against a Commander in the military.  He’s got some balls, you know, for a girl.

His loving family, however, went outside during the scrap.

“Do you think your dad is really going to get us banned, Courtney?” ~Zenith

“I don’t think so guys, these people won’t ban the skinny dippers, so they sure aren’t going to do a thing to those two in there.” ~Ned

“Oh man… I can’t believe the stinky man beat one of our military’s best!” ~Kennedy

Strangly enough, neither can I.

“Take that you meanie!  Don’t ever mess with us ever again! And if I call you… will you go on a date with me?” ~Andrew

Anna and Andrew celebrated Andrew’s victory over Richard by skinny dipping and pretty much just discouraging the rest of the customers from ever coming to Googycoo’s ever again.

“Aw man, why of all days did I have to come here?  I knew I should have just stayed home and taken care of my mutated twin babies.” ~Samantha

“Speaking of the little freaks, how are your kids with Steffi the matchmaker going by with your husband?” ~Anna

“AH, AUNTIE ANNA’S BODY WHY CAN’T I JUST KNOCK” ~Zenith

The day soon drew to a close, and the family finally put on enough clothes to go home.

“See you later, big sis!  It was nice meeting you!” ~Zenith

“Bye, Zenith!” ~Ned

“Bye Pickles, was nice seeing you again… tee hee!” ~Andrew, from the trunk

“See you later, hot stuff!” ~Pickles

“Bye Mrs.  Crumplebottom, it was… ok, it wasn’t really nice.” ~Anna

“Oh NO, you get out of that car right now, missy, and let me thrash you about going around in the nude like you insist on doing!  You little harlot!  Hussy!” ~Crumplebutt

“Is she still back there mommy?!” ~Courney

“I think so!” ~Anna

“Then step on it already!” ~Zenith

Back at the house, a cake was waiting on Courtney, as it was her birthday.

“Right now is not so good of a time for a party…” ~Barnabas

I would agree, because Barnabas then picked then of all times to pee on the floor.

“Don’t wet the floor, Barnabas, we just had it waxed!” ~Zion

“I watch Remington slave all day and you just go about and make a mess again?!  For shame, Uncle Barnabas!” ~Gina

Like you two have room to talk.

And Courtney.

She has a lot of her dad in her, like a smaller version of his nose, but there is something about her that’s her mother’s.  I just can’t put my finger on what it is right now.  She rolled knowledge, and wants to max 7 skills.  I don’t see that want all that often.

“Le wah.” ~Barnabas

“Oh man, the spinny thing made everything all spinny…” ~Zenith

At least he aimed for the bushes.

“Oh Catalina!  I’m so glad you decided to come back to me, after I spent at least two chapters calling you Marina!  You have made this old heart so full of joy!” ~Andrew

“Andrew, I’m so happy you still love me after I told you no!  I was just confused.  Only now do I realize that no other man is ever going to pay as much attention and affection to me as you have!  I’m even surprised that I haven’t been killed of yet!  Oh Andrew… I… I love you!” ~Catalina

“Catalina, that’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for you to tell me!  Now I want to tell you something!  My dear loving ball of stench, will you marry me?!” ~Andrew

“Oh Andrew, yes I will!” ~Catalina

“I don’t think that’s going to fly by with the rest of the people in the house…” ~Zenith

“Shut up boy, and stop photobombing my beautiful moment!” ~Andrew

Courtney and Zenith are still BFFs and spend a lot of time doing buddy-buddy things.  Which worries me because I don’t want them to be *ahem* TOO close when Zenith gets older…

Speaking of which, it’s his birthday.

“All these raging male hormones that I have mixed with my raging alien hormones makes me want to go out and harvest organs to attract a future mate!” ~Zenith

…

Zenith grew up a pleasure sim, with the LTW of 50 FIRST DATES.  Forget it, Zenith.  It’s not going to happen.  Besides, that would be way too many organs for you to harvest.

“Oh man, baby.  I just want to do so many naughty things with you!” ~Andrew

“I don’t, I’m too TIIIIRRRRED…” ~Catalina

“Oh, just sit up already and come to papa…” ~Andrew

“What the crap, Zion?!  Didn’t you JUST see me wanting to cuddle with my fiance?!” ~Andrew

“But I haven’t hardly had any attention in this chapter, just let me be!” ~Zion

“Zion, MOVE.” ~Andrew

“UM, did I come into the living room at a VERY bad time or something?” ~Anna

“Oh no dear!  You are just in time for the SHOW!” ~Zion

“Show?!  What show, I wanna see!” ~Zenith

“Zenith you just get back under the couch before you see anything!” ~Anna

“Too late, I’m traumatized.” ~Zenith

“Ooh, a love letter!  Someone really does care for me out there!” ~Zion

Poor Zion.  He went through seven different love letters thinking they were for him.  But they weren’t.  So I wonder who they could really be for?!

/Sarcasm.

“I signed up for this dating program with specific rules that they ‘had to be Collin chicks’!  I don’t think this is what I had in mind…” ~Dawson

“Hello! :D” ~Slob

THAT’S IT, NO MORE MISS NICE SIMSELF

“Heheheh, that’s right, die!  Die in a swarm of sim hell!” ~Steffi

“You really are psychotic, aren’t you?” ~Andrew

I cheated but I DON’T CARE

“Oh Catalina.  I’m so glad you agreed to marry this old bag of bones.  It makes me feel so happy that you would stick around with me instead of someone nicer, younger… cleaner.” ~Andrew

“Andrew, there would never be any other man for me!  I love you for you, and accept you in all your stink!  You are the perfect man for me, and once those two kids go off to college, we can finally be together in holy matrimony!” ~Catalina

“Spoken too soon, lady.” ~Death

“No… NO!  NO!!  Why, why does this have to happen to my Andrew?!” ~Catalina

“No, really, what’s going on?” ~Andrew

“You are dying, sir.” ~Death

“But, I don’t feel dead!  Matter of fact, I feel just as spry as ever!” ~Andrew

*Stabs Andrew in the head* “There, now you are dead, let’s go to the other side now already.” ~Death

“Well, I’m sorry Catalina… I guess we won’t get that happy wedding after all.  Then again, I was really old…  I’m just happy you stuck with an old coot like me for so long.  Go on and be happy, find a younger man to make you happy now, and we will see each other again one day… I’m off to be with my Roulette now.  Goodbye!” ~Andrew

“Alright girls, now that the stiff’s gone, let’s go take this party elsewhere!” ~Death

“But we like pretending that we are Jesus!  Tee hee!” ~Hula Zombies

“Sigh, you two are hopeless.” ~Death

“Oh my Andrew… my dear beloved Andrew!” ~Catalina

“Yeah yeah, don’t call us about the funeral, we’ll call you.” ~Gina

Can’t you tell how much love Gina has?

“I can’t believe how old grandpa got to live actually!  I know he was revived when mom was a little girl, but he was really pushing the envelope!” ~Anna

“Jeez mom, way to grieve for your own grandfather.” ~Courtney

“ANDREW.  Why aren’t you in your formal already, stop prancing around like a sequinned disco queen and go say a few words already!” ~Gina

“Let’s see, where do I start on my worst enemy?  Well, old fart Andrew started in the house being cheated on because his wife had more fun with a prancy crossdresser than with a fuddy duddy like him…” ~Andrew

“ANDREW…” ~Anna

“But eventually old fart Andrew convinced Roulette to take him back in all his crummy-ness, and they fell in love and got remarried and the shock killed the poor woman and I don’t blame her.” ~Andrew

“ANDREW!!” ~Anna

“Ok, ok…” ~Andrew

“Actually, I guess if Andrew and I hadn’t been such bad enemies, I wouldn’t have learned how to fight.  And because of that and my wish to actually kick his butt one day, I managed to defeat that built army guy that was being mean to Zenith at Googycoo’s.  I guess I have to thank Andrew for that much…” ~Andrew

“Now that I really think about it… I really might miss that old fart after all…” ~Andrew

“Did you understand a word he just said?” ~Barnabas

“Did you pick this guy off the street and ask him to do the eulogy or something?” ~Catalina

And so, RIP Andrew, who completed at least three LTWs, and lived longer than any sim in a legacy should live.

His poor grieving fiance was sent back to the streets, where I have decided to spare her from the cold fate of a female slob death.

And there is where I leave you, ladies and gents.  A couple more chapters until the unveiling of the new slob that will take Courtney’s hand in marriage!  So until next time!