The Slobacy Chapter 6.2: Barnabas’ Adoption

*THUNK*

“Um, Andrew?  Do you need help or something?” ~Barnabas

“Oh, no I’m good.  I frequently enjoy the smell of windows!  Mmm.  So clean.” ~Andrew

Last chapter, we found Amin and married his reluctant butt to Courtney.  And now, we try for babies.  Here we go!

“Mm, nothing like a drink at seven in the morning, no siree, this is the good life.”~ Courtney

Mother material, right here.

Amin, the new slob, is actually probably the cutest little sleeper I have ever seen.  Considering that all sims sleep like this on this coverless bed, I still think Amin is adorable in his dormant state.

“Zzzz, mmph, no mommy, I don’t want to wear the tutu again zzz…”~Amin

Adorable.

And, he’s an awesome cook already.

“What… what is this?” ~Barnabas

“It’s fresh cooked food, none of that leftover stuff you’ve been living off on in your fridge for hundreds of years.  Bon apatite!” ~Amin

“OH MY GOD *tears up*  This is so GOOD!  *shovel shovel*” ~Barnabas

While the family cries into their omlettes, Courtney led Amin to the bedroom for some kinky baby making!  There is no way THAT’s not enjoyable.

“Hm, I picked a bad time to play with the telescope on free will, that I did…” ~Barnabas

Oh dear, Courtney.  Not what Barnabas needed to see.

*poorly placed white sparkles are highly banned4lyfe and unnessesary D:*

“Ah well.  A dirty mind tends to stay in the gutter, you know.” ~Barnabas

And yet you are the one that walked into the room and STARED at the bed while they finished.

*Loud, boinging noise of Adultery*

Ok, what…?

“Oh husband!  You kiss better than any other girl I know!” ~Anna

“WHAT?  My secret lover is kissing on his WIFE?!  How DARE the animal!” ~Remington

“You filthy cheating pig!! *slapslapslap*” ~Remington

“What? :D” ~Andrew

“LOL, I don’t know what’s going on.” ~Anna

“Woo, I’m such a bad player!  *Breaks out in dance*” ~Andrew

Yes, because that’s cause for celebration.

“Hey!  You are the one boinking my little girl!  Haha!  Hurt her and I’ll snap you in half :D” ~Anna

“Oh, um, I got it…” ~Amin

“Oh uncle Barnabas is so sexy when he paints!” ~Courtney

NO.

“Ah, time to play a game of Who Touched What Last: The Clean Edition!  Ok, let’s see who touched the grocery delivery truck last…” ~Courtney

I don’t know Courtney, maybe the guy behind you that drove the truck?

“Nope!  It was a white boy waiter with cornrows!  Score one for me!” ~Courtney

I don’t know, maybe you should have that scanner checked.

“And the last person in the back of Remington’s van is… Steffi the pimp-maker?!  Ew, Remington!” ~Courtney

That is a new low for Remington…

“And the last person to touch the grill of his van is… a stray cat… oh, that’s kind of sad.” ~Courtney

After Remington got heartbreak from Andrew, I’m going to guess he had a hard night last night.

“Oh husband!  Glad you could join me for an afternoon binge!  Did you know you are going to be a father soon?” ~Courtney

“… Shouldn’t you not be drinking then?” ~Amin

“What do you think, Anna?  Your daughter should cut back if she’s carrying a child, shouldn’t she?” ~Amin

“Nonsense, I drank every day while I was pregnant with her, and she came out just fine!” ~Anna

“My mother is happy with my pregnancy and having a baby is called for another round on me!  Who’s with me?!” ~Courtney

You know what, maybe you should cut back now, Court.

“Ah!  Baby!  She’s here!  Time for some bourbo-” ~Courtney

NO.

“Ah, following the generation tradition of dreading your hair for pregnancy.  Just like a true Collin woman.  Now… get out the tub, you drunk.” ~Anna

“OMG WHO WOULD SET FIRE TO OUR TREEEEEE” ~Andrew

*Cough* ~Remington

I don’t think Amin has found his cooking job yet.  But I’m forcing so many skills to be maxed on him in the meanwhile that that was all he did for a while.

“OM NOM NOM EAT AWAY THE SAD.” ~Amin

“What?!  A Ghost took all my candy!  Why would you do that?!  It was covering up my sadness!” ~Amin

“HEY.  Don’t blame ME for you eating all the candy, you pig.” ~Iama

Anyway.  Here’s Barnabas breaking his arms for the sprinkler.

“Wee!  It’s so worth the pain!” ~Barnabas

“Baby moved.” ~Courtney

Apparently I didn’t take a lot of photos of her pregnancy.  Eh.

“Why is there a ghost dog between your legs, Barnabas?!” ~Courtney

“Well, why is there a pee puddle on the floor? I don’t understand.” ~Barnabas

Aw, now this is cute here.  They actually look pretty normal now instead of glitchy and popped out of place.  How sweet…

“ENOUGH SWEETNESS, I’M CRACKING OPEN OVER HERE AMIN!” ~Courtney

“Zzzz UGHN, no mommy, I don’t want to be a sparkle princess this year…” ~Amin

“ENOUGH REPRESSED CHILDHOOD FROM YOU AMIN, HELP ME!” ~Courtney

“Why are you so lazy, get up and help my daughter with her baby!” ~Andrew

“DAD!  YOU BLOCKING HIM IN THE BED ISN’T GOING TO HELP!” ~Courtney

“Zzz, but mommy, I don’t do ballet anymore 😦  zzzz” ~Amin

“And it’s a boy!  I would love to have a son!  We haven’t had a single baby boy born since Barnabas (don’t count Zenith (and Gino was an accident))!” ~Courtney

Um, yes, but we wanted a girl, yet we will keep him.  Hopefully the next babies will be girls though.

I couldn’t think of a lot of male gold diggers, but this one is Kevin, named after Brittany Spear’s baby daddy.  Dad’s hair and eyes I think.

“What is this new memeory?  What are the grandbaby memories?!” ~Andrew

“Um, your daughter had a son?  So it’s your grandbaby?  Are you stupid Andrew?  Anyway, let’s get this kid up here before Barnabas smells him ou-” ~Anna

“BABIES?!  BABIES!  I SENSE A BABY NEEDING HUGGLES AND SNUGGLES!! GIVE TO BARNABAS NOW!” ~Barnabas

“Oh dear, I’ve spoken too soon.” ~Anna

“YEAH  A BABY!  WOO!  I’M GOING TO LOVE THIS KID FOREVER!” ~Barnabas

“Is he always this excited over the birth of children?” ~Amin

“Oh you poor boy, you don’t know half of it yet.” ~Anna

“Ok little boy.  This will be your room, and hopefully the curse of the toddler and baby glitch that plagued the last two generations won’t effect you.  I have a good feeling about this though.” ~Courtney

Not FOUR seconds later:

“I HAVE THE BABY!  OMG SO SOFT AND CUTE AND SNUGGABLE, I SHALL BE YOUR NEW DADDY ROLE MODEL FOREVER” ~Barnabas

“Um, dude?  I’m the actual father, sooo, can I have my kid?” ~Amin

“NOPE.  Move over loser, me and Kevin are going to do father-son things together >:D” ~Barnabas

“Now that isn’t fair!  I want to take care of my own kid!  Make this @ss give my son back!” ~Amin

Oh, it’s not going to be that easy.

After the birth, Courtney went back to what she does best.

“Gosh, that birth was hard and painful.  I wonder how many of these things will kill the memory of it?” ~Courtney

Why don’t you go eat an omelette or something?!

“Oh, poor little baby.  All alone and soon to be forgotten in this family.  I was a Collin’s son too, I know how horrible it is to be forgotten and left behind in a family of matriarchs…” ~Barnabas

Um, HELLO?  If any of the Collins, you are the one with all the attention, Barnabas.  I think you are getting yourself confused with Gino.

“Can’t I just hold my son just ONCE?!” ~Amin

“NO!  IS MY BABY, HISS!” ~Barnabas

I think Barnabas has a mild separation anxiety or something.

Um, Pickles?  Don’t you have something better to do that play chess in our front yard at two in the morning?

“Um… no.” ~Pickles

GO AWAY.

“Must protect the little one from the maid!  Run away!” ~Barnabas

Why?  Remington isn’t even here (I don’t think), why worry about what he’s going to do to the kid?

“Because once he sees the baby, he’ll piss and moan about another mess to clean up and frankly, if I hear him complain about what’s supposed to be hs job, I’ll snap one off in his ass!” ~Barnabas

Jeez.

OH, YES, because the cold floor in the funeral home is SO MUCH BETTER, Barnabas

“Yes well, at least the maid won’t find him here!  This is the cleanest building on the lot!” ~Barnabas

Can’t argue with that.

“Ick, look what I found, the baby in the funeral home!” ~Anna

“GAH!  Put him back!  He was safe in there!” ~Barnabas

“No, he stinks!  Stinks so bad!  I think he needs to go to his crib now.” ~Anna

“Um, NO, he needs a diaper change!  Put him down now!” ~Barnabas

“Jeez, now that she finally has her hands off the kid-HEY, where’d he go now?!” ~Barnabas

“My goodness son, you stink bad!  I think it’s time for a nap…” ~Amin

NO, he needs a DIAPER CHANGE!  You aren’t doing the bad glitch crap the last generation was doing, but at least do what the baby actually needs!!

“I am not think as you drunk I am… *hic* *chug*” ~Courtney

Don’t you think it’s time you tried for another baby now, Court?

“Mmm, *hic* all that drinking… *FART* oh, so that’s where stinky plates come from…” ~Courtney

Gross.

We shall end this chapter with Remington, instead of coming in to do his job, stealing old newspapers, considering he was going to come in and throw it away anyway.  So he’s kind of doing his job in a way instead of hurting Andrew’s feelings… idiot.

He looks like a poorly posed Ken doll.

Oh well.  ‘Til next time.

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