The Slobacy Chapter 6.3: Remington’s Feelings

“Honey, have you seen the baby anywhere lately?  I think he might be hungry, so I was going to go give him a bath.” ~Anna

“Honey, I think you need your queues checked out, don’t you?” ~Andrew

“Aren’t you worried about him?” ~Anna

“Babe, he’s in his crib right now.  If you are so worried, just go in there and keep an eye on him for a while, ok?” ~Andrew

“Ok, I’ll be here watching the kid. *THUNK*” ~Anna

“You do that, sweetie.” ~Andrew

Hey, two chapters in 24 hours!  Yay for me!  Maybe we will see more progress by the end of next year or something.

Last time there was one baby, a boy, Kevin.  But we need girls.  So, what will the Collins do about that this chapter?

“BABYBABYBABYBABYBABY GIMME GIMME GIMME YOU AREN’T DOING IT RIGHT” ~Barnabas

OMG Barnabas, why don’t you go call your own son or something?!

Oh dear, random fight on the porch.

“You HORRIBLE bird freak of a man!  You trampled MUD through this house after I was done slaving on it all day and you DARE ask me to a game of RED HANDS?!  Why don’t you take your red hands and go shove them up your-” ~Remington

I’m going to guess that he’ still isn’t over his anger about Andrew…

“But I play basketball.” ~I think Percy or something

“Well then, bring your cute little athletic booty my way.” ~Remington

Jeez, bipolar much?

“VERY BIPOLAR, GET OVER HERE *headlocks Percy*” ~Remington

“THAT will teach you to get me all hot and heavy and all that!” ~Remington

“I don’t understand what happened D:” ~Percy

“*busts in through door* HEY GUYS, WHAT’S GOIN’ ON” ~Baron

“Hello.  Please stop fighting on my back porch or I’m going to have to call the cops. ” ~Andrew

“SCREW YOU.” ~Remington

“GUYS!  GUUUUUUYS!!  COME IN HERE!  IT’S IMPORTANT!” ~Barnabas

“OMG what, what’s going on?!” ~Andrew

“It’s KEVIN’S BIRTHDAY 😀 😀 😀 ” ~Barnabas

“… I’m going to stab you with a fork, Barnabas.” ~Andrew

Kevin is 0/10/0/9/10, and, sigh.  Barnabas has him again.

“YES, I am the best baby taker-carer-upper there has ever BEEN” ~Barnabas

He reminds me of my dog.  Poor thing isn’t happy unless he has a toy with him at all times. Kevin is that toy.

“Dada!  I escaped the vampywre’!  We pway now?” ~Kevin

“Mmhmm, that’s good, kid.” ~Amin

Complained the whole time he couldn’t play with Kevin and once he can, he ignores him.  Typical slob.

“Mmm…. *pulls wedgie out of butt* … oh… OH NO THE KITCHEN IS BURNING AHH!” ~Courtney

HOW, you have ten cooking skills!

While watching the fire burn, I saw that the candle flames from Kevin’s cake are still burning on the counter.

“Hi, how are you this fine morning?” ~Little Fire

“MURDEROUS” ~Big Fire

“OH NO WHERE IS KEVIN OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD HE’S PROBABLY SCARED AND ALONE AND HUNGRY AND NEEDS SNUGGLES MUST SAVE KEVIN” ~Barnabas

GET BACK IN YOUR COFFIN, THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU.

“What in heaven’s name is wrong with that boy’s pelvis?!” ~Anna

“I’m teaching him to dance!  Oh man, he’s going to be a child prodigy!  I’m so proud of him!” ~Barnaba

“I’m on something-night, ya know my hips don’t ‘wie and something dada da da” ~Kevin

No, Kevin isn’t going to grow up a belly dancer, Barnabas, get that thought out of your head now.

“Say Barnabas!  Come on, Kevie, you can say it!” ~Barnabas

“Bawnabas!” ~Kevin

“OH, this feels my heat with such warmth as a father…” ~Barnabas

Please stop brainwashing the kid.

“This is what I think of your father’s affections, Barnabas… *farts on Barnabas’ head*” ~Andrew

Ah yes well Barnabas is a farthead, I do agree.

“YOU WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD OF A COOK AS I WAS” ~Zion

“But I’ve already maxed necessary skills and I just got the new job recently!  I’m already about two promotions away from my goal!” ~Amin

“Oh… I’m sad now…” ~Zion

“Hey Amin, man, I’m going to call it a day and OH how awkward *sweats and stinks out of nervousness*” ~Old Cook Thing

*Loud, harp sound of new Love status*

Ok, what now?

“I knew I could never be mad at you, Andrew, my love!” ~Remington

“Baby, I was never mad at you 😉 “~Andrew

Well jeez, let’s just get back on that boat, shall we.

“Yeah, they’ve been kinda lapping it up all morning, with their making out over Mime Cat and heavy breathing…” ~Barnabas

WHY do you try to kill yourself, Barnabas DX<

“Hey Kev.  How are you doing today, boy?” ~Amin

“GO AWAY DADDY, I NO WANNA PWAY NOW, I SO SWEEPIE!” ~Kevin

“What?!  My… my son actually recognized me and called me DADDY?!” ~Amin

“This is the proudest moment of my life…” ~Amin

Good for you, glad Barnabas couldn’t exactly ruin the kid.

“BUT DADDY I SWEEPIE!!” ~Amin

“Exactly!  And that is why you need a bath, despite the fact that you are already clean!” ~Amin

“No stupid, the kid is TIRED.  That means he needs a bottle.” ~Andrew

Both of you losers are idiots.

“Oh FINALLY!  A new nooboo to finally love (if we can keep Barnabas away from it long enough)” ~Courtney

Yay, another chance for heiress!

“Yes, this calls for a celebration!” ~Courtney

Not THAT kind of celebration.

“Uncle Barnabsbus… HIC… tell me again about the time you were… HIC all probed up and stuff and thingsHIC” ~Courtney

“WHAT?  HIC… WHY?  Are they BACK?!  Where are you you $*@&@ I’m gonna… HIC… kill you $*@(! HIC #(@&!!” ~Barnabas

Drunk Barnabas is not a happy Barnabas ._.

UM, what’s this?

*Pops through curtain* “HEY BOY! HIC!  I’m gonna like HIC help you bath and stuff and things… HIC!” ~Barnabas

“EXCUSE me, I was in here bathing myself just FINE until you popped in.  Can you leave me at peace, PLEASE?” ~Kevin

And birthday for Kevin.  Um… *jazz hands*

And this is child Kevin.  Eh.  He’s an ok kid.

“My child is a PRODIGY!  I want him to go to the most upclass snootiest private school you can muster!  Five o’ clock tomorrow?  I won’t forget!” ~Courtney

“I love you SO MUCH, son!” ~Courtney

“I love you too, mama!” ~Kevin

“Yeah whatever, don’t care.” ~Barnabas

Yep, pretty much as soon as Kevin grew out of his cute stage, Barnabas was no longer interested in the kid at all.

“Um, Uncle Barnabas?  Can I have my bed to sleep in now, please?” ~Kevin

“Um… nah, I’m kinda made up here.  Can you go sleep in the coffin or on the couch for now or something?  Shoo.” ~Barnabas

See?

“OMG GURL, nice boobs today, wife!” ~Andrew

*boinging noise of Adultury*

“DAMMIT I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE FORGIVEN HIM!! UGH *ground pounds trash*” ~Remington

“YOU #*@&@* PRICK AND HUSSY I HATE YOU FOREVER NOW!” ~Remington

“Dear, why is the maid always smacking on you when you are with me?  Do I get something on your face when I kiss you?  Because I swear I thought I brushed my teeth.” ~Anna

Ah, well.  It was either going to happen to one end or the other.

“Aw… um…” ~Andrew

“I just want to bash your head in with a baseball bat.” ~Andrew

“Oh try me skank, I’ll break you like I break the trash compactor.” ~Remington

Jeez, play nice children!

“YEAH!  New LTW of wanting to get to the top of the education career! On my way to be a professor at a college heavily pregnant, in my PJs, and barefoot!  What can possibly stop me today?” ~Courtney

OH DEAR, awkward pause moment.  Hi Kevin.  I see you are entertaining Nocturne.

“Entertaining me alright!  WOO!” ~Nocturne

Sigh.

“Um, grammpa?  DO YOU MIND?” ~Kevin

“Why I don’t mind at all!  Almost everyone has seen me pee anyway that it’s not such a big dea-” ~Andrew

“NOT YOU, ME!” ~Kevin

“Promotion!  I’m AWESOME!  They just loved my neon green PJs today, I was the talk of the campus!” ~Courtney

“Yes… well… You are going to have to try pretty hard to impress me.” ~BJ

OH GOD I FORGOT THE HEADMASTER!  No one has a dinner fixed!  Someone QUICK, make something!  Distract him with a tour!  SOMETHING!

“Is this… dinner… any good at all?” ~BJ

“Oh it’s um… HURK… wonderful D:” ~Barnabas

“What?  Aw man, why does that guy get lobster and I’m stuck with cold burned chili?” ~BJ

“Ah well, George has been a friend of the family for years now, he kinda deserves his lobster.” ~Barnabas

Way to not impress BJ, Barnabas.

“Oh dear.  Is this part of the entertainment tonight?!” ~BJ

“OH HURRGH UGNNG DAMN” ~Courtney

Nothing like a woman giving birth on the floor to ensure your child’s future in a good school!

And this is little Shanon Collins!  Named after Gary Coleman’s ex, the woman who was apparently throwing the hissy fit last year over the will and his remains and the estate bla bla bla despite being an ex, so she’s a good fit for the name scheme.

“Ta da!  I had a baby!  Wasn’t that a great show?” ~Courtney

“That was as a matter of fact, Mrs. Collins!  Unfortunetely it wasn’t good enough, so screw your family and their future at my school.” ~BJ

Eff you too BJ, you are the worst headmaster to have to entertain anyway, you overzealous ass.

“Oh, who’s the new nooboo, Courtney?” ~Andrew

“Oh, just someone that ruined Kevin’s chances at a good school, is all, dad.” ~Courtney

” 😦 ” ~Shanon

“Um, S-Sunny?  Hey, glad you were home!  Say, I got a message earlier that you were losing friendship with someone in the family, and I panicked because I just saw you recently and I thought that ‘what did I do wrong, we are friends’ and I wanted to talk to you and- oh you meant Anna.  That’s good, that’s good.  But anyway, would you like to still, um, c-come over and hang out or something tonight?” ~Barnabas

This might be intresting.

“Oh, nice house, Barnabas!  A fence, a yard, this is a nice place, you have no idea how much I like your lot, man.  Anyway.  So what did you want me to come over for specifically again, Barnab-” ~Sunny

“SUNNY!” ~Barnabas

“WHA-” ~Sunny

I swear, they are still just best friends, they aren’t even romantic sims, and Barnabas greets her like THIS.

“Oh g-golly I d-didn’t really-I don’t kn-know what that was about at all…” ~Barnabas

“Whoa man.  Wow, that was new!  Dang… are you sure you don’t know what that was for?” ~Sunny

“No, I have no clue, best friend :D” ~Barnabas

“OMG JUST SCREW AND GET IT OVER WITH” ~Iama

“What was that?  Sounded like the wind, or an angry spirit from the beyond screaming something about screws and Hummers… what do you think that was, Sunny?” ~Barnabas

“…Oh, um… huh?” ~Sunny

OH GOD SUNNY, EYES UP.

“YOU IDIOT!  You KISSED her and you don’t know what THAT WAS ABOUT?!  STUPID!    YOU are NO decendant of MINE!” ~Iama

“WHAT?!  KISS?!  I don’t-NO, me and Sunny are just friends even if she is insanely hot!” ~Barnabas

“Sigh, my mother is still an embarassment.” ~Silhouette

“Courtney, I don’t understand your uncle.  It’s like he likes me and he knows it, but he can’t recognize those feelings or something… I mean, I like him too… but why is he so blind?” ~Sunny

“You have to understand, Barnbas is dumb.  Oh and the whole “one woman his whole life that went to his son” crap.  Romantically messed up and crazy, three to four generations might do that to a guy.” ~Courtney

“So what can I do to try to get through to him?” ~Sunny

“I don’t know, try what he did to you when you first came here when you leave?  Give him a little “thought fodder” if you know what I mean?” ~Courtney

“Barnabas, I have to go home now… *SMOOCH*” ~Sunny

” O___o” ~Barnabas

“Oh… wow… jeez, what was THAT about?” ~Barnabas

“Sigh, he really is an dull witted.” ~Sunny

Yeah, he’s slow.  Anyhow, what will happen next time?  More babies?  More Barnabas?  More Barnabas with babies?  Will Amin get his LTW before Courtney gets her, oh jeez, FOURTH?

Until then.