The Slobacy Chapter 6.9: Survivor… College Edition

Three chapters?!  In one week eight days?!

This is MADNESS!

SPARTA

Ok, so all the kids were sent to college soon after the sudden and still unexplained death of Courtney, and that’s where this, and next chapter will take place at.

We start with the kids laughing at each other’s ridiculous randomized looks on the side of the road.

“Jeez sis!  You look ridiculous like that!” ~Kevin

“Speak for yourself, General Buzzcut.” ~Sharon

“So, where exactly are we, my cosmetically messed up siblings?  This looks nothing like the dorm our past generations had attended school in.” ~Barbie

“She’s right, what’s this place?” ~Kevin

In case no one remembers or read the last college chapters, I decided that I didn’t want to use the dorm again.  I just got tired of looking at it, so we are going back to square one with an empty lot and nothing but the scholarship money in their pockets… which when I last checked, apparently the girls somehow lost about $1000 bucks each before college.

“I blame my sister no doing my homework for me in the last few days.” ~Barbie

“Same here, Kevin left and all my homework stopped getting done too.” ~Sharon

So after all the bare minimum items were added, they had about $5.

BEGIN COLLEGE.

We start with the girls tearing up the only pillows they can afford, and a cheerleader cheering to herself in a temporary mirror.

Oh and this.

“WOO, living on an empty lot is so FREE and EXHILERATING!  WOOOO!” ~Barbie

“Oh NO!  My only good suit!” ~Kevin

Well that’s your fault for inciting a water balloon fight in the only nice thing you can afford right now!

“Hello?  Yes, we managed to scrap up enough cash to list ourselves onto your Greek house roster?  Why, we are going to be one of the biggest names in Greek before this college year is over!” ~Kevin

Somehow I don’t doubt it, seeing as the first day alone was my entire college career in a nutshell <_<

“Hey!  I was looking in the tidbit section and apparently we can sleep on the floor now!  I guess we don’t need beds after all!” ~Sharon

*A few minutes later*

However, by the next day, they were complaining about comfort, so instead of getting the beds back like I probably should have, they got a lawn couch.

“Good thing mom died recently and we got inheritance for this couch!  It’s literally kissing my butt!” ~Kevin

“What do you mean inheritance?!  If we had our hands on mom’s death money, we wouldn’t be sitting in a yard like this, needs slowly but surely decaying and at the risk of starving to death!” ~Sharon

“Guys!  Hurry up with that couch!  I need to sit and be lazy too over here!” ~Barbie

Their comfort goes down really fast actually.  I guess it’s because their slobs, of course.

“We need money, and our grants and scholarship renewals next semester aren’t coming in fast enough!” ~Sharon

“Then we go to get some barista jobs or something, they’re always hiring.” ~Kevin

“Nah, too lazy!  We need quick and easy cash!  And I have an idea!  Quick, pass me your cell phone, the one you pryed out of mom’s inventory before you went to college!” ~Sharon

And so, Sharon invited some guests to a party… the only one on the list that showed up was Remington though.

“All my friends suck.” ~Sharon

“What… the hell… is our sister doing?  Have we resorted to stripper dancing for cash now?!” ~Barbie

“She’s, ugh, freestyling for tips.  And sadly this is a toga party, but since we aren’t going to mess up our good, and only sheets, she’s resorting to sexy lingerie…” ~Kevin

“Come on guys!  Don’t leave me doing this embarassing skit by myself!  We need money, help me!” ~Sharon

“Ok, I’m helping!  I’m assisting to the cause!” ~Barbie

“Barbie, what the… NOT LIKE THAT you idiot!  He’s going to give us money, not you!” ~Sharon

Oh jeez, this was a terrible idea.

“Is he giving us any money yet?” ~Kevin

“I don’t think so.  Where did Remington go?” ~Barbie

“He walked off somewhere, with a look of shame in his eyes.” ~Sharon

“Ugh, this is the stupidest and most awkward strip show I have ever attended. *continues eating*” ~Remington

This is NOT what you were invited over for, Remington.

The Collin kids got no money that day, and still very much needed it.

See, there is a reason I really hate the showers.  They create the worst environment ever.

“Hello?  Who’s this?  Amin?!  Oh man, I haven’t heard from you in a while!  How have you been?  Another outing?  Really?  Ok, but remember the rules, we have to invite my sister too… oh don’t get all huffy about it, she’s not that talkative.” ~Sharon

Ah, good, both girls find the next potential male attractive.  This should save me a lot of trouble.

“I just find his tush so adorable!” ~Sharon

“I find everything attractive about Amin!  His hair, his face, his eyes, his arms, his chest, his booty, his thighs, his ears, his nose, his toes, his middle finger cuticles, his left eyebrow-” ~Barbie

Point made, dear.

Of course they spent the whole outing complaining about needs and cockroaches outside, so the outing sucked.

“This isn’t fair! I want to hang out with Amin, b-but… those DAMN COCKROACHES!  I can hear them outside, CALLING me, insulting me!  I just want to stop on them D:” ~Barbie

“Oh shut up about those damn cockroaches, Barbie!  Can’t you see I’m exhausted all to no end?!  This sucks, this whole outing sucks and I HATE AUNT NERISSA’S STORE’S CEILING!” ~Sharon

“Hee hee, buying a lamp, oblivious to everything :D” ~Amin

“Oh sister.  This outing was terrible.  Let’s go back to college and just focus on getting our Greek house up for the time being.  Then we can come back and enjoy our next outing, ok?” ~Barbie

“That makes a lot of sense, Barbie.  Ok!” ~Sharon

There’s no Greek house to really focus on right now though.  I fail at this so hard.

“What kind of house are you running here?!  This is terrible!  And if what you have going on over here is your idea of creative hazing, then I’ll make sure you are out on your butt before you can even say DROP AND GIVE ME 20” ~Coach

“Oh poor Barbie’s ovaries!  Now she’s surely out of the heirship running!” ~George

Oh, NOW he finds a mop.

“Just be happy I’m cleaning for you or something!” ~Remington

You aren’t a maid here though, I don’t know why you’d even care.

Then the mini fridge ran out of food and I didn’t realize until last minute.

“Great, now we REALLY are going to die.” ~Barbie

Good thing the slobs automatically do this.

“Mmm!  There was nothing wrong with that three week old salad Kevin threw away!  What was he thinking?!” ~Barbie

They took turns doing this until I realized I had just enough money for a pizza.

“Pizza Parlor delivery!  Which one of you hobos needs to sign this receipt?” ~Pizza girl

“If you hold on one second, I’ll try to find you a tip :D” ~Barbie

“Oh HAPPY DAY!” ~Sharon

The following day, they decided that party people suck and took their rapping to the streets.  Just like true gangstas.

“Alright, Kev.  Let’s see if we can make our goal this time and make at least a dollar today!  You ready?” ~Sharon

“I’m ready, but where did Barbie go?  Isn’t she going to help us with this?” ~Kevin

“Oh forget that stupid bitch, she’s made me mad now, running off and spending about $20 so far in COFFEE.” ~Sharon

Matter of fact, she’s STILL SPENDING money on coffee.

“Look, I was told that coffee makes all the sleepies I feel go away.  But I’ve had several of these things and all I want to do is go pee it back out.  I’ve had no visible change in my need to sleep, and it irritates me to no end that this is a pointless beverage, a beverage that is apparently made just for me to flush out my system!  Now, I’m going to ask you again, give me the strongest thing you got, my money isn’t a problem!” ~Barbie

“Whatever you say ma’am.  Just please shut up for more than half a second.” ~Coffee Guy

“Hold on, gotta pee again.” ~Barbie

“Um…” ~Coffee Guy

PLEASE tell me she didn’t already pay for that drink…

Meanwhile, the other two that are clearly more worried about their finances rap back to back like the bosses they are.

“Oh no, Kevin!  Class is starting soon and we haven’t made a dollar!  You are on your own Kev!  Good luck!” ~Sharon

“Err’body in the house tonight?! What it be do yo?  I’m Kev
here to rev
up yo needs for sick rhymes
all the times
I’m quick, and slick as a farting tick
layin’ it like bricks, cuz I ain’t no prick!
Need a dollar to become a scholar,
hollar that I’m a rhyme mauler
so I can drag Barbie out by her collar,
blowin’ all my money like some big baller!” ~Kevin

“WOOO!  That was good for a couple of nickles!” ~Zim

“Oooh I’m in love!  I have a hay-penny here for you, sir!” ~Lexie

“Jeez, what’s all that crappy racket outside for?  It’s keeping me from falling asleep on the floor and buying more coffee!” ~Barbie

Just… just go to class or something.

“Yes!  Let the sky open up on me and let the heavens know that I made a solid $100 from this!! *sound of angels singing and stuff*” ~Kevin

“What?” ~Carmen

Suddenly I had a smarter idea and sent Kevin over to the Battle of the Bands hut lot and made him play drums for tips, seeing as he played a guitar all throughout his teen years, this would be smarter.

There was a guitar on lot, but I think it’s broken :I

He made $400, from Lexie alone I think 😀 😀 😀

I like that girl.  She’s rich.

And back at the lot, Barbie was so sad that she didn’t go to final exams and failed.

FAILURE

WLJIAOJGAJEWOGALWAS

I’m SORRY you’re misery was justice enough to not go to YOUR final exam.  PLEASE.  Cry about it some more will you.

“What did you say?  About me being awesome and walking off somewhere and bringing back a whole free pizza I managed to bum off of someone?  For free?  Since we are broke?  Bummed pizza anyone?” ~Barbie

Nevermind, she’s cool (taken lightly) again.

A pottery wheel was invested for Sharon, and a decent income started coming in finally.

“Which is great, since I think that free pizza did something to Barbie.  She’s out of it again.” ~Sharon

Actually, since they figured out how to get free pizza, that’s all they do in their free time.

Ok. Stop hoboing for free food and actually eat it before it goes bad, guys!

“Please help us sir!  We are broke college students living in a pasture, and our rent just ate us for the rest of our money!  We need groceries and school supplies!” ~Kevin

“Get a job you bum!  We are all broke college students here!” ~Gordan

“Well if not for me, for my sisters!  They are dying and fusing to each others feet as we speak!” ~Kevin

“Well that is pretty sad!  If I really cared I’d give you some money, I swear :(” ~Gordan

Alright, seriously cut back on the free pizza guys.  We really don’t need two pizzas for every person on the lot…

A guitar was invested in for Kevin to play for money at charity toga parties, and of course it doesn’t want to go as I want it to.

“I’m helping the cause still :D” ~Barbie

NO YOU AREN’T!!

“Now that I’m on the guitar, anyone going to donate to my playing?

…Anyone?” ~Kevin

“Hmmm…” ~Barbie

“Contributing :D” ~Barbie

I’m locking you in a box, Barbie.

“Oh son, you don’t have to play that guitar for me!  I’ll just give you the money.” ~Amin

“Really dad?!  Thanks!  Can I have more?” ~Kevin

Pfft, I wish.

“Sis, I didn’t know you hired yourself a mascot for company!  You didn’t have to, we already have Remington the Cow here!  You’ve met this Remington haven’t you?  He comes by at least once a day now!” ~Kevin

“But I don’t like this Remington, he doesn’t mop while I shower.” ~Barbie

“Well I do like watching you shower if that makes up for anything.” ~Remington

“…” ~Social Bunny

“Well… if I had known you Collins were having a fetish party, I would have just stayed home tonight.” ~Professor Chloe

“I’m sorry Professor, I’ll make sure we get flyers out next time :(” ~Kevin

“Amin?  How come you only seem to call me after I take a shower?” ~Sharon

I think he’s watching or something.  Anyway, he asks for another outing again, and as usual, I make sure Barbie tags along.

“Dayum Amin!  Lookin’ fine today!” ~Sharon

“But not as fine as me, eh Amin?!  I mean, look at this booty!  I bet you won’t see a booty like this on any of your movies!” ~Barbie

“I can’t argue with that there, that is a nice booty :)” ~Amin

“>:(” ~Sharon

“What’s taking you so long to take my money?  I just want to buy one kite because I saw Amin looking at it for a second and I figured that if I bought one that I can gift it or go on a fun kite related date with him or something and if you are going to take my well earned money for your over expenive kite at a snail’s pace, then I’ll just have one shipped from my house back home or something!” ~Barbie

“I’m trying lady, if you’d shut up long enough to let me figure this out, it will get done faster!” ~Cashier

And then the harp sound of love happened.

And I find this in the bathroom.  I don’t really want to know what exactly happened in the bathroom for this to happen, considering the last known action I know Sharon was doing up here was spongebathing herself in the sink… ok, I have some suspection.

“Like I’m going to let Barbie get a headstart for his affections with her little butt comments!  This relationship is going on my Simbook!  #BF4Lyfe!” ~Sharon

“Come ON already lady!  Every second I waste here is one less baby I could be having with Amin!” ~Barbie

Poor Barbie.  If she even wins, of course.

MATTER OF FACT, let’s go ahead and have our little heir poll while I’m thinking about it!

Our first contestant is Sharon Collins, 0/10/0/8/10, aspiration pending on junior year still.  She’s the one with pointy ears.

Second is Barbie Collins, 0/10/0/10/10, aspiration also pending on junior year.

And here is Kevin, who is not running for heirship.

“Good.  Didn’t want to marry Amin anyway.  And really didn’t want to put on my nice pants for a photo.” ~Kevin

The heir poll will be here, so vote!

Next time we might wrap up college and move new Amin in!  But I don’t know really yet myself!  So later!